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Would you work with your ex?

(12 Posts)
transitpan Tue 24-Jan-17 09:23:54

I have the opportunity for a new career, but it would mean working alongside and crossing paths with my exh.

He's well established in his role and has been there for ten years.

I would be joining as a 'rookie'

I have no idea if his colleagues know why we broke up (his decision btw) or if he has told them untruths.

Am I mad for even considering this?

WatchingFromTheWings Tue 24-Jan-17 09:27:07

I personally wouldn't even consider it. My ExH was EA and a bully. Think it would depend on the reason behind the split and how well you get on now.

transitpan Tue 24-Jan-17 09:29:05

He decided he was unhappy and left me and three young children after 14 years together, without so much as discussing it with me.

We don't really speak, there's no animosity between us. We communicate solely about the children.

Chinnygirl Tue 24-Jan-17 09:29:45

No way. It can't end well. There is avreason you broke up and the same issues will reflect your working relationship. Also, the emotional side of things could make it difficult.

TheElephantofSurprise Tue 24-Jan-17 09:30:14

Not now. He shuffled off this mortal coil a couple of years ago.
But no, I wouldn't have wanted to work with him.

mrssapphirebright Tue 24-Jan-17 09:34:38

Hmm, not sure i could advise based on your post. I work with my exh though, but totally different circs.

He was husband number 1 (now married to number 3).

We were childhood sweethearts, married at 18, divorced at 21. I left him.

Fast forward to age 33 and we ended up working for the same company - not totally a shock as we trained in a similar profession and both moved back to our home town when we both married spouse number 2 and had dc etc. It was a massive shock for us both as we hadn't seen each other since we split, rather acrimoniously age 21. Here we were, 12 years later, both re-married with dc. After a few awkward weeks we just kinda got on with it. It took another 2 years before we were actually honest with our colleagues about our past and were more friendly.

Fast forward another 8 years and we are still working for the same company, although both in different departments now. We are quite good friends now and work really well together. We both went through divorces from our second spouses within a few years of each other too.

If he is a genuine nice professional guy (as my ex is) then it shouldn't be a problem, if not then I imagine it could be hell!

TFPsa Tue 24-Jan-17 10:10:40

whether exes working together could work out would really all depend on: how long you were together for; how long ago it was; how acrimonious the split was; etc.

man suddenly leaving his three kids & their mother alone rings a number of alarm bells, doesn't sound hopeful. I suppose it depends on how good the career opportunity is... if once-in-a-lifetime then I suppose it might be worth considering. if not then...

transitpan Tue 24-Jan-17 16:45:06

Thanks for your replies, it seems a shame to give the opportunity up but I think it would be hard seeing him on a daily basis so I think I'm going to pass and get back to the drawing board career wise

CockacidalManiac Tue 24-Jan-17 17:04:07

No. Not even with the ones that I still talk to occasionally.

SheldonsSpot Tue 24-Jan-17 17:05:25

Under the circumstances you describe, hell no.

drunkathousandtimes Tue 24-Jan-17 18:45:34

About to but in a very large organisation. We are very civil and managing co parenting well and I'm hopeful we'd be fine if we did cross paths.
Its not ideal and if he minded I wouldn't do it.

NeeNahh Tue 24-Jan-17 19:16:27

My ex is a nice mam who I was with for 6 years. I like him as a person and we split up for a lot of reasons but the underlying thing was that he wasn't that into me. I was recently approached about a really good job where he works and turned it down. It would just be too weird. However if I was currently unemployed I might have gone for it.

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