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My financial integrity is being undermined by ex dp

(3 Posts)
tree414 Sat 24-Feb-07 22:14:35

Hi anyone out there had this situation happen - would love to know how you coped.

I separated from my dp in jun 06. We were not married, but shared one dd and a ds of mine from a previous relationship. Dp remained in the jointly owned property as his intention was to buy me out, he could afford it, sadly I could not. I moved into rented. To cut a long story short, I agreed to hold back from any final equity settlement until end of early redemption penalty period finshed. Valuation was done on the property back in june and initial equity share was based on this. However I had always maintained that we should re-value the house as there was going to be a period of appx 12mnths before we finally settled. He disagreed with this saying we should stick to the first valuation done as he didn't think it fair that I should benefit from a increased equity value when he had been paying the mortgage.

Matter of factly a couple of weeks ago he mentions that he is close to raising my equity share - earlier than we had agreed, again I request a re valuation and as expected my request is rebuked. Bull by the horns time - so I instruct my solicitor to help me realise my share in the property based on an up to date valuation. He flips and as a result is now refusing to continue to make current mortgage repayments. His track record for paying this incidentally has been shocking - since he took on the upkeep of the current mortgage repayments he has never reinstated a ddr or sto, but opts to pay it manually, 3 weeks in arrears when I start hassling him, because the bank is hassling me because he won't take their chasing calls. I've done everything I can to keep the bank/building society informed about whats happening and his credit history track record is crap. I can't believe he could be so spitfull. Not only jeopordising mine and my familys future which includes his dd, not to mention the damage this is doing to my financial integrity, but also the damage he's doing to himself and his already not so brilliant credit rating.

The sad thing is I will probably end up with less than I would if I'd agreed to the original settlement figure, by the time I've paid solicitors fees and half the redemption penalty as this will still be applicable until Aug - who knows how long this will take to sort out. But its the principal now - I won't be pushed into a corner by a man who undertakes the actions of a bully, just because he can't get his own way.

I am between a rock and hard place, I cannot afford to pay rent and a mortgage and as a joint mortgage holder will be totally implicated in any action the bank wishes to take whilst we try to sort this all out.

Anybody been there! would love to know how you rode this one out.

wartywarthog Sun 25-Feb-07 08:56:21

no advice here but bumping for you.

tbh i think his intention is that you get less because you pushed him on it. hopefully someone who knows about this will be along soon.

MascaraOHara Sun 25-Feb-07 08:59:59

Get a good solicitor that specialise in seperation/divorce!

Can't really help other than that.

You can get free consulations.

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