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EX now thinks he's in a position to do 50/50

(39 Posts)
Newbrummie Mon 23-Jan-17 13:12:22

I don't know whether to laugh or cry tbh.
If he was less of a tool this would be my perfect scenario with a normal person.
His situation now is he's living with a women who has three grown up children at university.... they come home as you'd expect for visits and their beds and bedrooms are there for them, again as you'd expect.
He thinks this is absolutely fine and that he can now - living an hour away from their schools - can have them 50% of the time and of course when the kids come back from uni I will have to have mine. That's whether it's my week or not.
This will of course reduce his csa liability to zero, not sure what he thinks will happen in the school holidays and we've no idea what this other woman makes of it all.
Just for extra fun, the kids don't like her and only agreed this weekend to go to her house on the understanding she wasn't at the house, away for the weekend.
It's not me is it .... this is never going to get agreed to if we go back to court

mandi73 Mon 23-Jan-17 13:19:28

Does the women's children know about his plan?????
He's sounds............interesting

SmellySphinx Mon 23-Jan-17 13:19:36

How long a has he lived with the woman for? He really has gone out on a whim with this one though I must say!! Could be a very daft question but is he really thinking of the kids welfare at all in this? (Probably a no...)

Plus, depending on your childrens ages they will get a say as to wether or not they're accepting of this if by some miracle it's agreed to. You never know sometimes with some contact stories you read on here confused

Allthebestnamesareused Mon 23-Jan-17 13:20:28

Have you made him aware that for it to be 50/50 then he will need to have them 183 days of the year and not just dip in and out when he fancies.

Depending on how old the kids are the courts will take what they want into account too.

I hope you can resolve it amicably rather than the hassle of going to court (has he the money to do this?)

SmellySphinx Mon 23-Jan-17 13:22:59

Oh and if all of his girlfriends children are at home for the duration of the holidays then your children won't be able to stay! So how is he planning on 50/50...!? It wouldn't work!

Chloe84 Mon 23-Jan-17 13:24:11

So he's saying he can do 50/50 but not actually DO his 50.

How much csa does he pay, out of interest?

Newbrummie Mon 23-Jan-17 13:26:21

Lived with her since November.... we aren't privy to her opinion, wouldn't dare contact her it would be world war three

Newbrummie Mon 23-Jan-17 13:28:57

We aren't talking thousands Chloe, he pays the bare legal minimum

JustSpeakSense Mon 23-Jan-17 13:30:50

How old are the kids?

Newbrummie Mon 23-Jan-17 13:33:10

14,12 and 6

Newbrummie Mon 23-Jan-17 13:35:47

This is the 2nd woman he's cocklodged lived with and what he completely fails to understand is that the reason these women have a nice home, which I don't at the moment, is because their ex's behaved properly and ensured their children had somewhere nice to live that he now benefits from. He cannot see the connection and would now like new woman to be mummy and he'll throw all his support behind her.

Chloe84 Mon 23-Jan-17 13:38:37

And he's still trying to get out of paying the bare legal minimum.

What an arse wipe. Did you tell him you won't be able to have the kids during his 183 days?

abbsisspartacus Mon 23-Jan-17 13:38:43

I would discuss it with her ask her about the whole 50/50 thing explain it must be consistent and not when he feels like it

Newbrummie Mon 23-Jan-17 13:47:38

Chloe84 I just walked off before I lost it at that point. Being told somebody he's known for 5 minutes would be a more suitable mother for my own children. When they have met her once and it was "awkward" in the 14 year olds own words

HSMMaCM Mon 23-Jan-17 13:50:40

I'd just say, so you're having them Sunday to Wednesday and I'm having them Wednesday to Saturday ALL YEAR yes? That's great I can book a few days away in the summer. Or whatever split was suggested.

Newbrummie Mon 23-Jan-17 14:04:49

THe other key point is he works away. Last time we were in court he couldn't commit to every other Monday evening to have them for tea or pay for childcare on the days that he couldn't have them, again it was expected I'd just have to suck it up if he couldn't do what he wanted the court to order. So you'd presume then that when he was away this other woman would be doing his childcare.

abbsisspartacus Mon 23-Jan-17 14:18:22

Expected by him or the judge?

Newbrummie Mon 23-Jan-17 14:21:31

Oh by him of course. The court agreed that it was nonsense.

ImperialBlether Mon 23-Jan-17 14:21:58

So all this palaver is to save himself paying child maintenance. What a waste of space he is. And I'm sure his new gf's children will be thrilled to find him there during their holidays.

Newbrummie Mon 23-Jan-17 14:24:58

I think in his strange little reality he believes it would work, that's what makes it all the more difficult. I find myself on Mumsnet sanity checking if you like because the way he presents it makes me feel like an unreasonable nutter and then when you read it back to yourself you think, well no

RebootYourEngine Mon 23-Jan-17 19:53:37

What a great father your ex sounds. NOT.
Some people, mainly men, are so clueless when it comes to parenting.

abbsisspartacus Wed 25-Jan-17 06:48:46

What is the court order?

Newbrummie Wed 25-Jan-17 07:14:42

They live with me, he has every other weekend. And 2 weeks in the holidays .... that was all HE was prepared to commit to after SS said no to 50/50 last time.

Chloe84 Wed 25-Jan-17 07:19:28

So he doesn't even want to see them mid-week but thinks he can do 50/50!

Newbrummie Wed 25-Jan-17 07:45:22


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