Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Legal implications - change of mind with remarriage on form D81

(9 Posts)
freeatlastjan17 Mon 23-Jan-17 10:04:02

Hi, I have name changed for this! I would really appreciate some advice on how I stand. XH and I separated nearly 3 years ago. Basically I have just had my decree absolute signed (hurray!) . Ex husband is in a new relationship with a baby; I am in a relationship with a lovely man for last 18 months. Since we have been together he has also gone through a messy divorce and we have never discussed our future together, just that we know we love each other. On my Form D81 I signed that I did not intend to co-habit or marry in the forseable future BUT this weekend, my boyfriend brought up the subject of our future and asked me to marry him! And I do! Which is marvellous EXCEPT for the fact that I have signed that form.

Mentally I am in a totally different place from the stress of divorce and feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I can now see my future.

What are the legal implications - do other people change their mind after finalising the actual divorce?

So as not to dripfeed, this would mean me and DS (6) moving just over 100 miles away but would not change contact with his father (every other weekend, some holidays and they skype). We also split the finances 50:50 so I didn't take him to the cleaners!

Help appreciated please!

MrsBertBibby Mon 23-Jan-17 10:14:43

The D81 can only record your intentions as at the date you signed. You can change your mind.

But it seems quite a leap from one state of mind to another. Might be worth considering that before you commit.

Counterpane Mon 23-Jan-17 10:24:19

I think it has to be the truth when you signed it, which it was. An unexpected proposal from your BF could not have been foreseen.

Will your ExH try to cause problems?

freeatlastjan17 Mon 23-Jan-17 10:32:22

Yes ExH will try to cause problems. It wasn't that I didn't want to be with my BF just that marriage hadn't really crossed my mind - prob not surprising my ExH is a bully and a compulsive liar, it has taken me a long time to realise that I am no longer under his control. This isn't going to happen overnight - have to consider work and schools for DS. We are also not planning on announcing an "engagement" - more discuss further and make plans. Thanks for responses so far

Iamdobby63 Mon 23-Jan-17 10:56:25

Ex can only really have an issue with this if it impacts his visitation with DS, a hundred miles away will have an effect unless you drive him, or offer to meet half way.

freeatlastjan17 Mon 23-Jan-17 11:02:28

dobby - Thank you, yes we will have to split the travel but there will not be less contact as every other weekend contact is Friday 6.30 pm and drop back Sunday 6pm (and holidays) - he never sees him during the week owing to his work commitments

mrssapphirebright Mon 23-Jan-17 11:13:45

When my dh got divorced from his exw he also stated that he had no intention to cohabit and re-marry. He did this so she didn't kick off. His divorce was finalised in the October, we moved in together and got engaged in the November (as planned). His exw went ape shit and wasted her money on a solicitor to try and complain that he obviously had know this was his intention but falsely signed the form. I presume her solicitor told her it would be a waste of time as nothing happened from it.

Before signing, dh had been honest with his solicitor as his solicitor advised him not to indicate that he intended to re-marry etc and that there was little that could be done when it was signed.

freeatlastjan17 Mon 23-Jan-17 13:07:04

mrssapphire thank you, that's rather reassuring that your DH didn't have any comeback

Niskayuna Mon 23-Jan-17 13:09:58

Why is such a question even on the forms?

I'm quite baffled, lately, finding out all these archaic difficulties and barriers to divorce. What business is it of divorce-lawyer sorts what you intend to do with your future?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now