Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What do you make of this?

(18 Posts)
Past1960 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:23:13

Namechanged.

18/20 years ago I haa a 'thing' with this bloke. Lets call him Fred.

Fred was 9/10 years older than me, I think I was 19? I met Fred at work. I don't think I looked twice at Fred as he wasn't my type. But did note he was good looking in a well groomed sort of way.

Anyway, Fred persuded me. At the time I didn't drive so he used to ick me up and we'd go to his place. We never went 'out'.

So you may be thinking bootycall? Yep I would agree and this is were is gets strange..... We used to do lots of sexual stuff but didn't have sex. I don't think I pushed it with him, was young, not much confidencd etc. this continued for a long time on and off I think.

Then one day we met up and went to his new flat, same senario but had sex. I cried and said it was because I loved someone else but really I think I'd never experienced anything so intense. I was hung up on some other loser though.

He also said I'd look really sexy pregnant?

What do you think was going on?confused

I never saw him again after that.

Past1960 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:24:37

I would like to ask him but not sure what dh would think and his wife.

ScruffyTheJanitor Sun 22-Jan-17 23:27:24

Sexual stuff?

So you had non penetrative sex?
Then you had penetrative sex?
Then ypou cried and admitted loving someone else and are wondering why he didn't call you back? Maybe because you cried and said you loved someone else? grin

Past1960 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:28:45

Nah I get that bit.grin

Why didn't he want to have sex with me? He obviously wasn't that into me or he would of taken me out?

Past1960 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:29:59

I haven't thought about this all these years, just got in touch on fb.

Past1960 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:30:15

Feel bad.

ScruffyTheJanitor Sun 22-Jan-17 23:33:17

Who knows why he didn't take you out? That bit is odd I guess.

But the sex thing? I don't get that?
You did have sex, just not penetrative.
Or was out all one way? You pleasuring him etc?

If that's the case then I'd say he was using you for sex.

Past1960 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:41:17

I'm pretty sure it was more in my favour. I was pretty timid back then when it came to sex.

I think I thought he was using me and thats why I didn't really think that it might of hurt him.

Past1960 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:42:45

I suppose in my experience blokes want to go the full hog. Seems unusual. It makes me wonder if he was seeing someone else? But lits of people at work knew?

ScruffyTheJanitor Sun 22-Jan-17 23:45:47

I'd suggest puti g into the memory locker and not worrying about it. Easier said than done though.

The only person who can tell you what they were thinking is the man involved. But dragging it all up may cause more issues than the answers are worth.

He used you, you used him, nowadays it'd be called 'friends with benefits' I guess.

Past1960 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:47:42

I know your right. Its just playing on mind.

Past1960 Mon 23-Jan-17 07:31:43

Any more thoughts?

Past1960 Mon 23-Jan-17 10:18:36

Anyone?

SarcasmMode Mon 23-Jan-17 10:48:01

Honestly I see nothing strange.

He knew you were inexperienced so didn't push it.

You then had sex.

You realised you loved someone else.

What's the quandary?

Past1960 Mon 23-Jan-17 11:06:04

Just trying to figure it out in my own mind. Thanks for view point.

Past1960 Mon 23-Jan-17 11:11:06

I wasn't in love with someone else but was hung up on them more than Fred.

SarcasmMode Mon 23-Jan-17 14:04:03

Sorry if that came across rude I just genuinely meant it seemed clear-cut.

TheNaze73 Mon 23-Jan-17 14:37:51

I think Fred may well have been in a relationship, so therefore, could justify "*sexual stuff* whatever that is but, stopped short of PIV for as long as possible. Quite possibly enjoyed the other stuff more than PIV like a lot of men do anyway, is another possibility?

I think you know why it ended, after what you said. Any man with an ounce of self respect would've done the same

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now