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Regular posters (and lurkers!) on Relationships, what's your story?

(30 Posts)
alembec Sun 22-Jan-17 23:23:09

So this forum and thread has been a total lifeline since my big fat Script OW LTB saga. And yes, all you regular posters called it right, from the beginning. Thank you all, for the before and I'm sure the after.

Can I ask you, what's your story? What made you become a regular here? How did you find this place and how has it helped you?

As for me, I discovered mumsnet for the Baby sleep threads (magic of a non sleeping baby), and stayed for the Relationships support!

Imaginesthat Sun 22-Jan-17 23:40:10

Long story short was with partner for 6 months lovely man (haha) got pregnant was great throughout.. baby born night feeds helping me . Literally 6 month old baby a can of worms opened he'd slept with 6 other people throughout my pregnancy and afterwards 2 of these then sent me vile Facebook messages wrote a horrible word on my front door physically Attacked me. Went to my mums one weekend came back he wouldn't open the door a girl was inside I had my baby in my arms and she came out and walked past me. I left to live with my parents he then became abusive and took 2000 pounds from me and stole my daughters bracelet to sell . Bloodyhell there's much more that's the jist . So I came on here to feel like I was not alone

alembec Sun 22-Jan-17 23:48:33

shock
What an arsewipe!!
How old is your baby now?

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:51:50

Imaginesthat that's terrible! How did you find out that he'd cheated on you while you were pregnant?

DollieMountshaft Sun 22-Jan-17 23:54:59

OW. In that I was one 🙄

Imaginesthat Sun 22-Jan-17 23:58:00

Something happened and I went through his whole phone found out everything . Child soon 3

alembec Mon 23-Jan-17 11:26:50

how do you feel 2 years on Imagine?

Imaginesthat Mon 23-Jan-17 11:57:59

Pretty much over it realised was nothing to do with me and all him

nigelforgotthepassword Mon 23-Jan-17 11:59:04

Came to MN when pg with dd2. Hovered about a bit but not in the site much for a few years.Returned and came to relationships when it transpired my then h had had an affair with my best friend. Advice and support here were invaluable.

everycloudandallthatjazz Mon 23-Jan-17 12:36:14

First came onto Mumsnet a few years ago when pregnant with DC1 with a relationship dilemma. Was told by around 100 people to LTB as he was controlling.

Got scared and deleted my MN replies.

Left my emotionally abusive relationship last year with my two DC and the support on here has been invaluable.

I have posted on and off for a few years but name change frequently.

MagpieWife Mon 23-Jan-17 13:11:17

I am a definite lurker and rarely post, but I check these threads at least every couple of days.

I've been married for a year (no kids yet), and am very happy so far - but having watched my parents divorce I know how difficult it is to keep a marriage together long term. I like coming on here to get an idea of the issues we might face, and to read all your advice on them!

I don't post much because being young I don't feel like I have much wisdom to impart, but I often think of posters' dilemmas and wish them well.

ScruffyTheJanitor Mon 23-Jan-17 13:18:35

I came here years ago under a different name.
My then GF was pregnant and I looked for advice. We lost the baby, our relationship went south, I left MN.

I then came back when my wife was having an affair, I didn't post much but I read a lot. I blamed myself, I wondered what I'd done wrong. I tried to use advice here to shape myself into a better boyfriend and partner. Not that it helped, we divorced, I left MN.

Then I came back again, gf pregnant, looking for advice and such. Been here since.

I stay thanks to the advice, it allows me to see where I could improve and be the partner my gf deserves and the dad my DD needs.

It also opens my eyes to the amount of shit women put up with from arseholes. Don't get why women would get with a jackass and stay with a jackass though? It seems that answer still alludes me.

Jaysis Mon 23-Jan-17 13:38:40

My GP recommended it as a TTC /parenting website.

Meelymoo80 Mon 23-Jan-17 13:56:03

Joined after becoming pg with ex, he went nuts about the pregnancy and demanded I have an abortion. I was looking for similar stories to get my mind in order but then had a MC. He's still my ex happily and now I'm doing OLD again. Which is completely fucked up going well.

And I love reading the threads on dating as see myself in so many of them. Classics also made me laugh when I thought nothing would ever again. So I stayed and lurked until I posted this grin

Christmasnoooooooooooo Mon 23-Jan-17 13:56:54

I started on forum lurking years ago on site called handbag that was given to me on cd ( does any one remember when they gave web suff on cd )I went to woman business thing my freind was doing . When that site went I moved to ivillage when that went I found mumsnet and started just before penis beaker. I Was so glad I never posted on that one as the person whose story I was going to ended up sharing the thread on their Facebook page .
So I now never write about other people and only post stuff that does identify and name change.

spicelette1 Mon 23-Jan-17 14:06:55

I originally came to Mumsnet when pregnant with DD1 in 2009, then over the years became a lurker on the relationships board. From reading the threads here I gradually became aware that my ex's behaviour was extremely EA. I'm generally perceived as a strong, confident woman, I was the main earner in the partnership and yet i was so ashamed to find myself in this position. I was an archetypal 'boiled frog'. Eventually I found out he was meeting people off sex sites and sleeping with them in the daytime in seedy hotels. This brought things to a head and he left soon after.

While I've only posted once, the Relationships board has enabled me to make sense of my experiences, otherwise i'd probably still be blaming myself for the failure of my marriage. Being gaslit and EA for years I felt I was going mad but I can now articulate what has happened to me and I'm hugely appreciative of the wise women who give advice and the brave women who share their stories.

Now it's more more than two years on. I recently amicably ended an eighteen month 'fling' that was just what i needed to help me get over my marriage, but was never going to be my happy ever after. So now I'm reading the dating threads in the hopes they will help me to find Mr Right.

WarmFunKindStrong Mon 23-Jan-17 14:15:59

Joined in 2002 - frequent name changer. Joined during the early difficulties with my 2 (born to me) dc and before adopting my third. Sleep problems, marriage problems, divorce, dating, caring for elderly parents, troubled teens - MN has supported, advised, and enlightened me through so much. I have met and made RL friends with some MNers. I am immensely grateful to MN, it has really changed my life.

I post on relationships, part of the much maligned LTB brigade grin. Why should anyone continually try to make a seriously substandard relationship work? And usually their efforts are unilateral.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 23-Jan-17 14:19:34

I came over here when someone on WW discussion board mentioned it.
Been here ever since.
And now going through my own shite (again!)

tee4two Mon 23-Jan-17 18:35:21

I've been a long time lurker (since 2006), must have started because of pregnancy/young babies.
I did post on relationships this time (ish) last year.
Still stuck in the same position now, but came back to MN because I get strength from it. Everybody is so supportive, and knowledgeable. It helps me to see what kind of shite I've been putting up with, and what I need to do to deal with it.
I got the courage to phone WA last week, for information more than anything, because as long as I know the ins and outs of things, I can stand up for myself. I made that stand, and I'm 99% sure he's moving out. I won't do a little jig until the door closes behind him for the last time though.

confusionoftheillusion Mon 23-Jan-17 20:22:11

Started posting and using during ExH violence, my subsequent affair, my divorce and now life with DP and our children.

Often gives me a reality check, interesting to see people's views but also incredibly stereotypical. I've learnt not to let MN rule my life as for a while it did and I'd believe MN over what I knew to be the truth in my life.

littleredpear Mon 23-Jan-17 21:43:23

I arrived on the site after I lost a large chunk of nipple a week out of hospital on the bf boards.

Misdiagnosed breast abscess and 4 ops later I trusted the ladies on here a lot more than the medical staff.

I stayed on S&B, I love shopping.

Next thing I find a picture of underwear on my husbands phone.

Boom.

20 years, 2 kids, a miscarriage, a cancer scare and a child abuse case later I'm getting support on here for my husbands EA with a colleague.

It's been a long 12 months, I never thought he would ever put us where we are now. He's ruined 20 years of happiness. He has no good reasons or explanations.

Here has been a lifeline. Counselling has been dead end after dead end.

This place stopped me exploding, probably saved me losing my job over his betrayal and helped me with understanding I can't ever know why he did it.

I still want to kill them both daily but at least this place has helped me not turn up on her doorstep to confront her.

I hope my experiences help others I guess.

nigelforgotthepassword Tue 24-Jan-17 13:46:32

flowerslittleredpear...and for everyone who is going through something that MN has been able to help with.
I get that it can be judge on here and sometimes a bit absurd.But I still feel it's a great place to come when you most need it.

IsNotGold Tue 24-Jan-17 14:30:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheTapir Tue 24-Jan-17 16:12:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MegFlyAway Tue 24-Jan-17 17:00:04

10 year relationship, 1 year marriage that ended when he had an emotional affair with a work colleague. Wish I'd know all the script information sooner as I would have played it very differently!

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