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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I don't know what to do

12 replies

Katieanna · 22/01/2017 20:19

DP is hard work and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going mad.
He's told me all he does is give and gets nothing back but he's refusing to tell me what he means or how I can put it right. He's acting like nothing has happened even though I've told him I feel insecure. Apparently his word that I shouldn't feel like that should be good enough. I feel sick. Sorry, my head is such a mess

OP posts:
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booksandcoffee · 22/01/2017 20:22

Sorly to hear that you are having such a shit time. Have you considered going to Relate together for some counselling?

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booksandcoffee · 22/01/2017 20:23

sorry

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booksandcoffee · 22/01/2017 20:23

Sorry

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Queenie87 · 22/01/2017 20:24

No way he'd do that, I can't give any more than I already do. I got cross at him because of the way he made it so much hard work for me to go and do something somehow ended up being my fault and now I'm meant to act like nothing happened.

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TheNewSchmoo · 22/01/2017 20:27

Name change?

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Queenie87 · 22/01/2017 20:30

Didn't feel comfortable using that name.

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everycloudandallthatjazz · 22/01/2017 20:39

It's difficult to give you advice as your post is quite vague (I can understand why, though). However, it sounds like he is twisting your words and that nothing you do is ever good enough. Is that right?

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Queenie87 · 22/01/2017 20:47

I don't know where to start. He can be so lovely. But the minute I'm pissed off or mad at him for something he turns in to this horrible person who goes on and on until I feel like I'm the one in the wrong. Today it was because I wanted to go and do some housework and he didn't want me to because he felt guilty that he couldn't help because he's ill. I said it needed doing anyway. He went on an on in a very antagonistic way until I snapped and I said I couldn't be doing with it and that it makes me feel like I'm going mad when I know I'm not in the wrong. And then I get a mouthful of how he just gives and gives and gets nothing back. But he won't explain what he means. I feel so sick and confused. I'm sorry I just feel broken.

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ChuckSnowballs · 22/01/2017 21:34

How long have you been together and what is the house situation?

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Sugarpiehoneyeye · 22/01/2017 21:37

You don't have to put up with this abusive man OP.
Is he always so controlling ?

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everycloudandallthatjazz · 22/01/2017 23:04

You feel sick, confused and broken. Your head is in a mess. It sounds like he is very controlling and manipulative. It's not you. Have you read up on emotional abuse / coercion? If so, do you recognise him in what you have read?

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Sugarpiehoneyeye · 23/01/2017 09:43

How are you today Sweet ?
Come back, we're here to support you. 💐

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