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He's just hit me

(67 Posts)
luckyusername Sat 21-Jan-17 22:35:27

Partner of 7 years has just shouted and hit me infront of our dc. He's been very stressed today and taking it all out on me. Apparently everything is my fault and I'm weak and pathetic. I don't know what to do now! I don't want to call the police as it will scare the dc. I don't even know what I can do tomorrow or where I can go.

Secretlife0fbees Sat 21-Jan-17 22:37:38

Ring the police! I'm sure they're scared enough already!

luckyusername Sat 21-Jan-17 22:39:11

I can't call them. He has mh problems and I'm worried he will get ill if the police take him somewhere

Secretlife0fbees Sat 21-Jan-17 22:40:37

He's just assaulted you in front of your children and you're worried about him? Ok

Champers4Pampers Sat 21-Jan-17 22:41:05

Do you have access to a car? Get your kids & leave, even if it means booking a hotel for the night.

His MH issues are not an excuse for this behaviour.

I'm sorry you're going through this. X

Puff42 Sat 21-Jan-17 22:41:27

Sorry but I agree with calling the police. Your DC must be distressed.

Doesn't he have family he could go to?

luckyusername Sat 21-Jan-17 22:42:42

This is such a mess! I have little babies and a 6 year old I don't drive. I feel sick

thisismyfirsttime Sat 21-Jan-17 22:43:34

Call the police, ask for him to be removed and that you don't want him back for a day or two. Depending on the circumstances they may arrest him or just remove him but it will give you space to think. It may be upsetting for the children but they will see that his behaviour was wrong and won't be tolerated/ happen again. Use that time to work out what to do and where to go from here, regarding your living circumstances etc. I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP flowers

TheTantrumCometh Sat 21-Jan-17 22:44:56

You are not responsible for his mental wellbeing. He is.

Nobody deserves to be assaulted, especially in their relationships, especially in front of their children flowers

luckyusername Sat 21-Jan-17 22:45:12

I'm crying but don't want my 6 yo to know. I will be ok if he just goes to bed and I will think things through tomorrow

Marchate Sat 21-Jan-17 22:52:37

Mental health problems do not excuse a crime

lorelairoryemily Sat 21-Jan-17 22:59:29

Do you have any family near you who could come and collect you and your children? Pp is right, his mental health is not your problem, he hit you, you really need to get away from him, poor poor you op, I'm so sorry

bananafish Sat 21-Jan-17 23:00:53

How are you? Are you safe? Has he calmed down?

Deep breaths; it will be ok - it is the shock of it. Can you make yourself something? tea and lots of sugar. Are you in pain - I am so sorry this has happened. It is just rubbish.

Will he go to bed and leave you alone? What do you want to do? You don't have to do anything you don't want to.

Just keep yourself out of his way and make sure you are safe. If you think he is going to kick off again then you need to think about how keep the children away from him. Have you a friend you trust that you can call for real life back up?

I am so sorry - it is such a headfuck when this happens. Pm me if you want an entirely non-judgmental ear 💐

empirerecordsrocked Sat 21-Jan-17 23:02:58

Where is he now, are you and the children safe until tomorrow? Are you physically hurt?

luckyusername Sat 21-Jan-17 23:09:27

Me and the children are all in one bedroom. They are fast asleep but I feel so guilty when I look at them. They don't deserve to see this. He is usually fine but when he's stressed I get the brunt of it. My shoulder hurts a bit but otherwise I'm ok. I don't want to call my family as its late and they don't live local anyway

Boobybeau Sat 21-Jan-17 23:19:52

I haven't written on MN for years but I have to reply to you. Please please PLEASE get in touch with women's aid or another local women's charity and get some professional advice. www.womensaid.org.uk You are not alone and there is a way out. Sounds like your OH is very unstable at the moment and if you really want to help him you need to tell someone what is happening. flowers

Catherinebee85 Sat 21-Jan-17 23:47:10

He might have a mental illness but he's still an adult and in control of his own actions. He made a choice to hit you.

Your priority needs to be your children and you cannot allow them to grow up in a world where they see one parent assault another with no consequences. They look to you to make sense of the world.

It doesn't sound like you're willing to do anything tonight but please please please don't carry on tomorrow like nothing has happened. Ask him to leave for a while and get advice from a domestic abuse charity to support you and advise you on how to explain things to your children if need be. Please x

FriendofBill Sun 22-Jan-17 00:02:24

This is too sad.
Get him out OP.
Protect them, and yourself.
Sorry he has MH but you must look after you and your DC.

Offred Sun 22-Jan-17 00:06:39

Look quite frankly if you don't call the police and your 6 year old tells people in school what happened they will be required to report it to social services and it will be investigated anyway, with a viewpoint of DP is violent and you are not capable of protecting dc because you are more interested in protecting him from the police.

PickAChew Sun 22-Jan-17 00:06:50

Worry about you and the DC, first.

If he won't seek reasonable independent support, that's not your problem.

Offred Sun 22-Jan-17 00:07:54

You don't need to do it right now. But I would say you really should make a report to the police before school starts on Monday.

userformallyknownasuser1475360 Sun 22-Jan-17 00:15:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Quarksoundslikequack Sun 22-Jan-17 00:22:12

Op, sorry to seem nosey but what MH issues has he got??

Evilrhooo Sun 22-Jan-17 00:24:37

OP, if you don't act you are risking permanent damage to yourself and your children. Can you live with that?

twattymctwatterson Sun 22-Jan-17 00:45:18

This is an abusive relationship op. Mental health problems are no excuse for violence and he has you defending and making excuses for him when you should be angry and planning your escape. This WILL happen again. What kind of childhood do you want your kids to have?

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