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8 weeks in - where should we be?

(6 Posts)
Popcornandjam Sat 21-Jan-17 08:34:28

Hello.

Having had numerous unsuccessful OLD meets, I'm now 10 weeks in with a guy. Lives 90mins away from me which isn't an issue. See each other at the weekend.

We talk about anything any everything. Texts have died off a little, but we talk for an hour on the phone every day.

Sex is fantastic, we laugh lots and generally get on really well.

Not met families because of the distance but I've met his friends and we've agreed we are exclusive.

Having not got to this stage before - 25 year marriages finished 2 years ago - I'm unsure where we should be, and what the rules are.

Should we be declaring love, making plans plans for a future together, or just taking it one day at a time? Feel I want some sort of commitment - nothing serious at all, just an agreement that ultimately we want a proper relationship. Even if not with each other, I want to know that it is on the cards and not ruled out iykwim.

50 is approaching rapidly - both of us - and I guess I want to know if this has legs, because if it doesn't I'll have to get off this journey and start again.

But is 10 weeks too soon?

rosabug Sat 21-Jan-17 08:39:24

yes - take it easy.

jeaux90 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:41:14

Very very early days to be declaring love or intentions, I think you should relax and enjoy it is my advice (I've dated loads, one marriage and a few ltr's)

If you need a sense of whether you both want the same things then ask some open questions like "what do you think you want longer term" or "how do you think things are going with us".

I have been seeing someone since April and we are just at the stage of talking shared plans. I'm 45 so I do understand that sense of not wanting to waste time but you can't rush things. The first 6 months should be great, but you need that first argument etc to really see the full picture x

SaltySeaDog72 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:41:29

Ah OP this sounds really nice. You've gone way past the 'initial' phase. You're talking an hour every day - that's loads! And that in itself is a commitment of time from him.

You could ask him what sort of relationship he is affer, but to be honest after 10 weeks it's way too soon to be planning a future or declaring love.

After the end of your marriage try and enjoy this bit. Because you know after 25 years a marriage can still end. Plus if he is the guy for you then what on Earth is the rush?

It all sounds lovely, OP, try and just enjoy...

TheNaze73 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:44:13

10 weeks in, is nothing. Think you can have an idea if you like someone however, you're having sex & lust/love are very easily confused in the early stages of a relationship, especially in the new stages bubble.
Just enjoy yourself, look no further ahead then the next date & enjoy yourself

whoneedswings Sat 21-Jan-17 08:46:32

Everyone is different, DH and I were declaring love and arranging our wedding by week 3! Don't follow rules follow your heart, and be confident with him. Lots of men prefer woman to make the first move when it comes to talks about 'feelings.' And if he doesn't feel the same way it means it wasn't meant to be and you can move on! Best of luck flowers

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