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Feel like I don't belong anywhere

(8 Posts)

I'm not normally one to share my woes publically, but I do need a supportive word at the moment.

Been separated from my XH for over 18 months now - lots of water under the bridge and we have an excellent co- parenting relationship. Couldn't ask for a better situation in that regard really.

Lodged for a divorce back in October, and the notice finally came through in the mail today. I'm so upset - it's such a stark, cold reminder of everything that I lost. A 13-year relationship summed up in a couple of legal sentences sadsad

Mind you, I don't have any desire to be with my XH again. I think it's all just been complicated by the fact that the first serious relationship I've had since ended on New Years Eve (that was with Mr 'Cricket, Darts & Football' lol) and I'm still reeling from that. I though that he was in it for the long haul, but he dumped me out of the blue.

I just feel so lost and like I don't belong anywhere. I don't have many friends, I'm not close to family, and have a tendency to hide away when feeling low.

Not sure what I'm looking for here - maybe just want to get it out sad

MommaGee Sat 21-Jan-17 02:07:04

flowersflowers and cake

Can you try to see it as a start not an end? The start of making positive changes? Getting out and .meeting new people and doing something good for you?

Thanks MommaGee, logically I know that but I think I'm quite depressed as well, which removes all motivation to do anything. It just seems like the whole world is out there living its life and I'm here with nobody and nothing.

MommaGee Sat 21-Jan-17 02:27:00

For a start you have your DC. You're part of their entire world!!

Have you got a close friend that you can open up to? Sometimes its just food to talk. Trip to GP might also help xx

I've got an appointment with a psychologist on monday so hopefully that will be the start of feeling better about things.

Though as an aside... downloaded tinder in a wine-fuelled moment last night and lo and behold, there was said psychologist!! Took that as a sign and deleted tinder quick smart confused. Maybe an attractive, 40-something male psychologist isn't the best choice!!

My best friend lives in Germany (I'm in Australia) and is of the no-nonsense "tell him to fuck off" sort so that's hard. Other than that I feel like a pathetic broken record telling anyone else about what's going on.

My XH has full time custody of our DC for a while as all I can manage at the moment is getting up, going to work and then coming home to go back to bed in tears. We have 2 girls, 11 and 13, who most definitely don't need to see their mum in that state.

At 40 years old I have no money, debts up to my eyeballs, no assets, no relationship, no hobbies, shit mental health, and non-existent self worth.

Yes I know I'm being Negative Nancy but I just feel so isolated and alone.

MommaGee Sat 21-Jan-17 03:29:19

Sorry but that is funny, imagine if you'd swiped yes before you met him professionally... Anyhow, psychologist is a great start. Don't mention Tinder smile

Regardless of custody and access, they're still your girls and you're still their mom. They need you and you have them.

Sounds like you could do with some practical advice around debt consolidation / writing off, benefits etc. Australian equivalent to Citizens Advice Bureau.

You're taking the right first steps NoMore and though its a long journey, we all have to start with those first steps xx

Lila16 Sat 21-Jan-17 04:03:42

I don't know a lot about depression so all I can say is the only way out of your current situation is put on big girl pants and to step out of your comfort zone. I moved coutries and was really starting to become very unhappy as I hadn't made any friends. I tried meet ups whatever they didn't work for me. But I joined a gym class to get out of the house and ended up meeting my now best friend. Do you like dogs? My dog gets me out walking morning and night. I don't stop and chat much but it's nice being out of the house around life and people. Rather then straight home from work. Can you start visiting a coffee shop a few times a week? Agai you get to know familiar faces and nice to start the day with a smile. Where in Aus are you?

pocketsaviour Sat 21-Jan-17 12:36:55

Sorry you're struggling OP, things sound really hard. Would you consider talking to your GP about anti depressants?

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