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Hot as hell but no connection.

(11 Posts)
user1484954729 Fri 20-Jan-17 23:40:40

Hi All

Just getting back in to dating and it's going good although I'm a little inexperienced after a long relationship!

Has anyone ever had any experience of this?

Went out on a few dates with this guy. Ridiculously compatible in terms of physical attraction. He's hot as hell 🔥

However, in terms of emotional connection............Nil. Zero. Nada.

I don't think he listens to me very well. For example, when I am talking he appears to go off in his own thoughts and then suddenly interrupts me about a random thing he was thinking about.

Also...I seem to know a great deal about him but he hardly knows anything about me. One date, I asked him several questions in a light hearted, get-to-know you manner which he appeared very happy to answer. However, he lacked the social skills to be able to ask any back. It all came across as a bit arrogant and 'all about him'. Like....smug smile and enjoying talking about himself but he wasn't interested in asking me anything about myself. I volunteered information for him but he didn't appear too interested.

I don't find his jokes or sense of humour very funny.

However, when we've erm...been 'making out' it's got a bit passionate and he excites me to hell.

Has anyone experienced this?
Did a guy start out like this but then improved for you?
Is it the right thing to do to offer him feedback on this?

Or should I just run at this early stage?

He's made it clear that he's after a meaningful, long term relationship rather than just special friends......(damn).

Thank you for having me and I'd appreciate any input!

Han xxxxx

TokenGinger Fri 20-Jan-17 23:52:26

From experience, it'll be awesome sex and nothing more.

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Sat 21-Jan-17 00:14:26

he might want a LTR with a passive yes-woman. Otherwise he just says what he thinks you want to hear to get sex. It's NOT likely to improve on emotional level. But if you can just enjoy the fling, go for it!

BlueFolly Sat 21-Jan-17 00:15:48

Just have a fling with him.

Butterymuffin Sat 21-Jan-17 00:18:03

Yes, just enjoy the sex and don't think of it as a long term thing. Tbh from your description of how he acts, he doesn't sound like he's genuinely seeking a long meaningful relationship, so make the most of the benefits for a short while.

Howlongtilldinner Sat 21-Jan-17 08:15:25

Infatuation they call it. Big red flag. So if you're in the least bit fragile, bin!

user1484954729 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:16:25

Thank you, all.

I was thinking the same as you and I've woken up this morning thinking that I'll see him again more chance to redeem himself and then I'm gonna finish it.

Which is a shame because he is 'top of the tree' kinda handsome.

However, I would happily accept someone that isn't as physically attractive as him if there was chemistry and a connection emotionally.

Lessons learned - looks really aren't everything. Social skills, good listening skills, confidence, manners are much more appealing!

Thanks again
H xx

MadameJosephine Sat 21-Jan-17 09:47:40

Well he doesn't sound like Mr Right so I'd probably move on but definitely shag him first

Coffeegrain Sat 21-Jan-17 10:21:54

enjoy a fling with him. You said you're 'inexperienced after a long relationship' so this is all part of the learning curve. Having been there too, from experience he won't change and you'll end up disappointed and always needing more than he can provide. I guess there is no harm pulling him up on it, you've nothing to lose!

user1484954729 Sun 22-Jan-17 02:05:18


That was probably one of the best sexual encounters I've ever had in my life 😂

.....this is so unfair! 😂

I said to him afterwards - we obviously connect physically but does he feel we connect in other ways? He said yes but, really - it's too early to tell and we should hang in there and do I fancy a walk along the river after work one evening next week? 😬

I wanted to say.....' thanks. But I'll take another seeing to'.

.....see how it goes! 😂

MissHemsworth Sun 22-Jan-17 04:41:54

OP you could be describing the start of mine & my DHs relationship. The lack of communication does not bode well for a LTR I'm afraid and could be symptomatic of other traits (ie. selfishness, arrogance & misogynistic tendencies, lack of respect) Regardless I fell in love & married the man but am now getting to the end of my tether with his attitude towards me.

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