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Help me!

(4 Posts)
BlueCheeseandcrackers Fri 20-Jan-17 22:38:56

Hi I really need some help and advice. I've been married for 12 years and have 3 children. I met my husband when I was young and fell pregnant quickly. I guess we "did the right thing" and got married. Now I'm older I look at husband and see how emotionally controlling he is. He always comments on what I wear, how I dress and how much weight I've put on since having children.
If I ever make an effort to dress nicely or even paint my nails - he accuses me of cheating on him! My job is very flexible and I plan my own day so I get to work at home a lot. When I need to be in work or an emergency arises and I have to be there he will kick off and through a tantrum like a child! He won't speak to me for days either. He usually swears at me and calls me and is generally just rude! And the only way he will speak to me if we DTD!!
I work full time and do all the cooking, cleaning, housework etc. He will collect the children from school. He dictates how my wages should be spent and will have a tantrum if I want to spend some money on something for me. I physically have to hand him X amount to save each month!
He can go out all night, smokes drugs ( canibis deffinatley) and maybe worse. He will come home and wake me up from my sleep and tell me that "I look guilty" whilst I am asleep!!!
If he has a day off and I fall asleep on the sofa he will huff and puff and tell me that I only do this as he is home and if he was at work i would be up watching tv!

There is no love left in me, we have no emotionally connected intimacy and he has never kissed me - as he "doesn't like it."
I am so unhappy and think is this really it for the rest of my life? Is this how I will spend the rest of life walking on egg shells?
How do I get out of this? It's not just me to think about - there are three young children to think of 😭

ImperialBlether Fri 20-Jan-17 22:43:30

It sounds as though he's completely paranoid, and cannabis certainly won't be helping there.

You have to make a decision about whether you want this to be your life, OP. If you go onto the child maintenance calculator and the tax credits calculator you can see how you'd be financially if you broke up.

You have one life, OP. Be happy.

Secretlife0fbees Fri 20-Jan-17 22:44:48

I think you already know what you need to do... he sounds like an utter twat. The good thing is that you know this and realise that you can't continue like this.
See a solicitor in private and find out where you stand legally/financially etc

jeaux90 Fri 20-Jan-17 22:57:27

Gosh he sounds utterly horrid so sorry you are living like this. You know what the right answer is. Xxx

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