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Found escort searches on laptop

(118 Posts)
WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 17:35:16

Hi Everyone,

I don't have time to change name or anything but I've found escort searches on the laptop.

Things are horrendous between us.

I told him in August I didn't love him anymore but due to external family members etc it's been messy.

I'm not wanting to drip feed but I'm on a time constraint.

I'm almost laughing at this due the way things have panned out in our relationship.

But what do I do I now?

ImperialBlether Fri 20-Jan-17 17:36:47

Do you have children? Married? Mortgage or rent?

TatianaLarina Fri 20-Jan-17 17:38:26

You confront to be told 'I was only looking for kicks, never would have gone through with it', which you ignore as you don't love him anyway, and want to split.

Newbrummie Fri 20-Jan-17 17:41:45

Have you already started saving ? Looks like he's been treating himself with family money, you need to start protecting it

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 17:42:12

Married, one dd aged 6, own business and we own 2 houses

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 17:42:47

I haven't. But I have just started applying for jobs. Hence being on the laptop

Adora10 Fri 20-Jan-17 17:45:35

Great excuse to end it then OP, and yes, he will say:

Was just curious, would never have done anything, was just looking, same old shit they all say.

At the end of the day, do you want to have to Police him online as well as having a shit relationship, you don't love him so stop wasting your time.

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 17:49:40

I promise I wasn't policing.

I went to the browser history to look for something I searched for the other day and this massive stream of porn sites, escort searches local to where he works came up.

Tuesday was a weird night, I said he had a business dinner after work and he didn't come home until 2.45.

I'm not a golden in this, but he's preaching a lot to me. But now seeing this, I feel like he's a hypocrite

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 17:50:28

Just to be clear, I've not been or looked for an escort!

But I do have feelings for someone else.

I don't want to hide anything. I'll try and link my other post from Christmas.

FatOldBag Fri 20-Jan-17 17:54:51

So you told him 6 months ago you were breaking up with him? But you're still living together while you work out the divorce/split? Or did you change your mind after telling him you didn't love him and decide to try again?

If you're already split but just sorting practicalities, I'd probably just not mention it. If you were trying again, I'd just tell him what you've found and that you've changed your mind and want to split after all.

Adora10 Fri 20-Jan-17 17:55:17

I mean from now on, do you want to have to Police his internet activity.

herwegoagain123 Fri 20-Jan-17 17:57:20

This happened to me. He's probably been doing it for years. This is probably what destroyed your marriage and feeling for him.
Are you going to mention it because he will defend himself through bullshit and lies. Do you want to bother if you are leaving him?
He will blame you.

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 17:58:43

No I don't want to police it.
I don't really care what he does, as long as he isn't a hypocrite.

I told him in August I didn't feel like I loved him. And I have nothing so I've trying to get my ducks in a row. Saving a few pennies here and there etc.

I have a controlling and abusive set of parents too.

I've kind of got two battles.

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 17:59:29

He already does blame me.

As do my parents. But I don't care. I've been getting counselling and that's helping me cope with their reactions

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 18:01:47

I can't link the last thread.

But I found it by searching "dm is controlling and hit me"

ImperialBlether Fri 20-Jan-17 18:03:49

Here you are!

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 18:04:33

You star

TatianaLarina Fri 20-Jan-17 18:12:07

From the other thread I think you need shot of the lot of them. DH, parents.

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 18:15:45

So do I Tatiana

StumblyMonkey Fri 20-Jan-17 18:26:26

I'm sorry if I'm misinterpreting this (and I haven't read your other thread yet...) but you told him you didn't love him months ago and are only staying to save money to leave him.

To me that basically says you're separated but living under the same roof?

In which case I'm not sure it's your business what he's doing with his sex life (distasteful though it may be).

Sixisthemagicnumber Fri 20-Jan-17 18:32:16

You don't love him and have told him so and you have feelings for
Somebody else.
You are only living in the same house for practical reasons.
Why would you care if he had been searching for escorts and perhaps has visited one?
I take it you are not having sex with him?

WienerDiva Fri 20-Jan-17 18:51:41

You're both right and that's because I've not explained very well.

He's been telling me I need to get back with him for the sake of our daughter.

I couldn't care less who he sleeps with but he's been guilt tripping me daily.
I suppose it feels rather hypocritical

Costacoffeeplease Fri 20-Jan-17 19:03:28

Well now you've got good reason to tell him to shut the fuck up about getting back together

Get legal advice, just because he says something doesn't make it true, he has to obey the law the same as everyone else

FatOldBag Fri 20-Jan-17 21:09:31

Then call him out on it and tell him to fuck off.

user1478860582 Fri 20-Jan-17 21:39:43

As long as he isn't a hypocrite? But you tell him you don't love him, want to leave and feelings for someone else? Hypocritical behaviour goes both ways.

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