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Relationships

Any other age gappers out there?

51 replies

Lila16 · 20/01/2017 12:37

I've seen a few comments mentioning age gap threads and a bit of negativity but haven't seen the threads. Not sure what to achieve from this thread but interesting to hear from any other age gappers out there. I'm now 30 and my partner is 47. We met when I was 25. We have no age gap related issues whatsoever.

OP posts:
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Tomorrowillbeachicken · 20/01/2017 12:40

I am 34 and my hubby is 45. Been with him 14 years and causes no issues.
Quite a few of my sons classmates have similar age gaps

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BelarusianDoll · 20/01/2017 12:40

Well I'm 7 years older than my husband and we have no age-gap issues either!

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Tomorrowillbeachicken · 20/01/2017 12:40

classmates parents lol

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Livedandlearned · 20/01/2017 12:45

Age is just a number - 12 years between me and dp and there has never been an issue, together for 8 years

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ReturnoftheWhack · 20/01/2017 12:49

Not me but my Mum is 13 years younger than my stepdad. They've had a wonderful relationship and life but Mum does struggle now he is 80 and the issues that in itself presents whilst she is still very active and spritely.

My best friend is married to a man 15 years older. They have just had a baby, his fourth, her first. The age gap is very apparent now with him trying to deal with a young baby again.

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bert3400 · 20/01/2017 12:52

I'm 11 years older than my husband , been together 18 years . 2 kids . Never had an issue with age gap at all .

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toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 · 20/01/2017 14:21

24 and DH 32, been together since I was 19, no problems so far!

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UpYerGansey · 20/01/2017 14:39

13.5 years between me and bf. Still a pretty new relationship and neither of us know how things will pan out, but so far it's nothing short of fantastic on every level.

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kel12345 · 20/01/2017 14:41

My husband is 9 years older than me. We met just after i turned 21 and he was 29. We got married 9 days after I turned 22, he was 30. We couldn't be happier.
I've been in relationships with people closer to my own age but it never worked out too well

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mylifeisamystery · 20/01/2017 14:48

I'm 38 and partner is 55 my ex is 40 and his partner is 25 🙃

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mortificado · 20/01/2017 14:53

20 between us and never had a problem!

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TFPsa · 20/01/2017 15:14

Based more on the experiences of people I know rather than my own, it's not uncommon for a big age gap to first become a problem when one starts to hits kind of proper old age, which of course does bring about some unwelcome changes, at a time when the other person is still more or less in his (or more usually her) prime. But, y'know, it's not a good enough reason not to be together, if it's possible to have say two or three or more really good decades together before anything like this might happen.

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MoonshineJungle · 20/01/2017 15:17

I've just turned 29 and he's 40, never been an issue for us, his mates made a thing about him getting a younger girl and having a midlife crisis but we just laughed it off

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ImperialBlether · 20/01/2017 15:18

I agree with TFP, it's much more likely that age will become a problem as you age. If you're 30 and 47, then you're both still fit and healthy. If you were 60 and 77, I think you'd notice a much bigger difference. And if women are retiring at 66 and want to do loads of things like travel before they're too old, then would they be able to do that with an 83 year old?

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Ludoole · 20/01/2017 15:19

Im 40, dp is 53. Hes the smallest age gap ive had. Ds's dad is 57 and my late husband was 55. Age gaps have never been the issue immaturity of ds's dad was a large factor in our breakup though Hmm

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citybumpkin · 20/01/2017 15:23

I'm a mature 40 and DP is a young 55. No issues with an age gap here. I was reluctant for DP to meet my parents (both early 60s) due to the age gap/other peoples opinions but shouldn't have been concerned. They all got on famously, far better than a meeting with any of my exDPs. We're in the process of TTC. I'm now beyond caring what others think. It's my/DPs life. It works. Perhaps one day it won't but there are other relationships out there that don't work out when the individuals are closer in age. Enjoy the moment!

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DonaldStott · 20/01/2017 15:34

I don't actually think you age gap is bad. You were 25, fully adult, when you got together.

If you are referring to yesterdays thread, where the girl was 18 and her boyfriend was 46, then yes, I do think that is an issue.

Nearly 30 years with someone who is barely legally an adult, is not the same as some of the age gaps mentioned by PPs.

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Albatross26 · 20/01/2017 16:05

My dp is nearly 46, I'm about to turn 30. No issues whatsoever, get on so much better with him than blokes in their twenties!

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GizmoFrisby · 20/01/2017 16:05

I'm 28 my dp is 38 we get on fine most of the time Grin

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thecatneuterer · 20/01/2017 16:32

I'm 54 he's 21. We've been together 18 months in a very full on sort of way. He is very, very mature and solvent and so far the age gap hasn't thrown up any issues. I'm not deluded enough to think that this can be very long term though. I can't imagine many 35 year olds wanting to be with a 70 year old.

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JamieFraserskneewarmer · 20/01/2017 16:48

I'm in my mid-40s and DH is late 60s. The age gap wasn't a problem for our first fifteen years together - we had some truly wonderful times, but, to be perfectly honest, it is now really impacting on our relationship. He retired years ago and has turned into a old grumpy man who is always tired, always suffering from some minor ailment and never wants to go out - and it is getting worse.

It is an effort to get him to go out in the evenings, even for a meal, and he has form for cancelling at this last minute on the basis of feeling under the weather. I have suggested a few times that he could be suffering with depression and it may be worth seeking help but such suggestions get swatted aside on the basis he is just getting old. The most hurtful thing is that he no longer has any interest in being intimate and the rejection is soul-destroying to the point where I wonder whether I can put up with this for another 20 years...

I work full time and have loads of bright and full of life colleagues and friends so the way I deal with it is to just get on with my own life with the DCs. I go out a lot with friends and do loads of activities but it isn't the life I thought I would have.

Sorry - that was a bit long and depressing! Smile

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isthismummy · 20/01/2017 17:33

I'm 38 and my DP is 22! We're getting married in the summer and are very, very happy.

I agonised for a lonnnggggg time over the age gap, but I'm utterly miserable when we're apart (as is he)

Terrible cliche, but you really cannot help who you love. Our time on this earth is far too short not to spend it with the person who makes it all worthwhileSmile

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PsychedelicSheep · 20/01/2017 17:38

I'm 38 and my boyfriend is 27, it's not an issue now but I have 2 dcs and don't want any more - he says now he's not bothered about having his own but I'm well aware this could change over the next few years so there's no guarantees it will work out between us. However, you could say that about any relationship, whatever the ages involved.

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2017willbeawesome · 20/01/2017 17:39

Belarusiandoll ditto I'm seven years older than my husband Smile no age gap issues here either

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Mintychoc1 · 20/01/2017 17:46

I think a lot of the negativity surrounding age gap relationships (when the man is older) is because many of them are the result of affairs middle aged men had with younger women.

I know I shouldn't make assumptions, and it's not deliberate, but when I see a 40-something man with a 20-something woman I find myself wondering about the 40-something women he ditched for the younger model.

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