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Regret over ending of relationship with father of my child

(5 Posts)
WaterLilie Thu 19-Jan-17 23:59:18

Hi, I have an 18 month old old daughter, conceived through the first attempt at IVF due to my fertility problems. Sadly, I split up with my ex partner, my daughter's father when I was 3 months pregnant. It's very complicated and hard to explain, but he had mental health issues and I had mental health issues. With me, I had severe OCD during pregnancy, making me terrified of germs. My ex couldn't cope with this and moved out. We were both so upset about the whole situation and tried to get back together, but he just couldn't cope with my OCD and it was just impossible to get back together. Now, our daughter is 18 months old. I have moved up north, 150 miles away to be closer to my family and my ex sees our daughter every other weekend. The thing is, deep down, I am still in love with my ex and I am devastated that we aren't together. I miss him terribly, but he hates me, as I have taken his daughter away. I am so unhappy and don't know what to do. Can anyone advise? Thank you.

JustFuckingReally Fri 20-Jan-17 00:05:53

It's your current relationship good enough for you to be honest with him?

TabithaBethia Fri 20-Jan-17 00:06:44

That sounds so hard flowers

he just couldn't cope with my OCD and it was just impossible to get back together

How would it be different now? Adding a difficult relationship to existing anxiety/OCD issues will never work.

Hating you is pointless, you've made the best of a shitty situation for yourself and your daughter.

WaterLilie Fri 20-Jan-17 00:49:05

Thank you all for your replies. I only developed OCD during pregnancy. I think it came after numerous ectopic pregnancies, which were very traumatic. After our daughter was born, I was ok, but my ex kept bringing up my OCD and reminding me of it. What I struggle to deal with is that I pushed him away when I was pregnant and had OCD. I had OCD very bad. I literally took over my life and I had to have counselling to deal with it. I'm amazed that I'm now over it, as it was so severe. I feel terribly guilty as to how I pushed away my ex when I was pregnant. I want to make it better but he has made it clear that he would never, ever give me another chance.

scaredoffallout Fri 20-Jan-17 03:32:45

Can you write him a letter explaining how you feel?

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