Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Want to stop shaving....Any advice?

(147 Posts)
lemonzest123 Thu 19-Jan-17 10:43:34

Hello MN!

I need a few of your wise words, anecdotes and perhaps a kick up the backside!

I've been with DP for about a year and we absolutely adore each other but I really want to stop shaving down below and I'm not sure how to broach it.

While I can shave my underarms relatively comfortably and can epilate my legs, shaving bikini line and beyond is a bloody nightmare.

I've tried extra sensitive gels, super expensive men's and women's razors....Nothing works. After one day I'm in red, blotchy, itchy hell, not to mention the ingrown hairs. It's so sore that it looks red raw and horrible.

DP is generally an extremely supportive and caring man and would usually do anything to prevent me experiencing discomfort but he's been quiet on this one so far - even reminding me he shaves his junk "for me" (despite me repeatly saying I don't care or even notice if he's shaved).

I've let it grow out at the moment on the premise that I'll slget it waxed "soon" but the idea of someone ripping it all out terrified me.

I think I just need to put my big girl pants on and tell him the fuzz stays. A bit of womanly fuzz has got to be a better look than red raw prickly skin anyway!

Help! Has anyone else done this?

Elsiebrowneyes Thu 19-Jan-17 10:49:21

Lemon I shaved for my DH as he wanted to see what it would be like hmm He loved it but it was a nightmare for me - itchy, sore and looked horrible. We have come to a compromise - I keep it neat and tidy but not completely bald! We are both happy now wink

Aussiemum78 Thu 19-Jan-17 10:51:39

It's your body, do what you want.

If he's not happy with you being comfortable then stuff him

lemonzest123 Thu 19-Jan-17 10:56:45

elsie So sorry if this is TMI and super nosey but what exactly does neat and tidy mean? Just thinking it'd be good to have a compromise up my sleeve! Just the bikini line shaved and a bit of a trim or underneath (blush) too?

RagingSquirrel Thu 19-Jan-17 10:59:07

I don't think you need to broach it at all. Just stop. If he comments, tell him that shaving was causing you discomfort and you don't want to do it any more. That should be the end of the conversation.

Introvertedbuthappy Thu 19-Jan-17 11:00:11

It's different for me as I've never shaved and very rarely shave my armpits (I have very sensitive skin that is prone to horrific eczema). Luckily he likes the au natural look and he has always been au natural too. Try and explain the discomfort you have with it - I'm sure he wouldn't want you doing something that made you uncomfortable. Good luck! I've never understood the need to remove all hair from my body (asides from my head). And luckily no midwife or nurse has recoiled in shock and required smelling salts to be brought back round at seeing an unshaved nether region on a woman.

TeethDrama Thu 19-Jan-17 11:02:21

Waxing is a lot better than shaving, and personally I find bikini line waxing the least painful area to wax! Also it lasts a long time and the hairs grow back finer.

It's up to you what you do with your bikini line of course, but personally I wouldn't grow it all out if DH absolutely hated it - to me it's the same as that DH would love to have a small beard but in the past when he's grown one I find it tickly and annoying and I prefer how he looks clean-shaven, so although I've never said (nor would I) don't do a beard, he doesn't because he knows it would bug me.

But DH and I have so few demands (none really?) on each others looks or dress that we are happy to compromise on the few things that we actually have an opinion on.

Nowthereistwo Thu 19-Jan-17 11:03:29

I used my husbands beard trimmer to keep things tidy.

(And yes he knows)

MrsJayy Thu 19-Jan-17 11:04:43

You don't need to broach anything just let it grow back I don't understand totallly naked foof It doesn't feel nice to me see what regrowth is like and see what you think needs trimming

MrsJayy Thu 19-Jan-17 11:07:36

I think it looks like a defrosting chicken I did it once and hated it

CupofTeaTime Thu 19-Jan-17 11:07:54

I can't believe this is a problem! If you don't want to shave then don't! If DH doesn't like it tell him not to look at it. Problem solved. I'm gobsmacked that this is even an issue! hmm

GeorgiePeachie Thu 19-Jan-17 11:08:47

tweezers - bikini line and shaping. I take this alot further and tweeze everything off. leaving a triangle on top
Nail scissors keeping it to a CM long.

Happybunny19 Thu 19-Jan-17 11:11:56

I don't know how people cope keeping completely hair free down below, as I have the same as you quick regrowth, red, itchy skin on the occasions I've removed some. I keep it trimmed to a reasonable length and trim down the spiders legs only, but luckily dp prefers a more natural muff. He's offered to trim himself but I don't like it and actually like a bit of pubage.

I don't like the expectation that has developed to look like a prepubescent girl, I find it quite disturbing.

Stop removing all of it and let it grow past the prickly stage then trim it as you like, or not. If he doesn't like it that's pretty shallow surely? He should want you to be comfortable above anything else.

empirerecordsrocked Thu 19-Jan-17 11:12:31

My god tweezing?! The pain!

Just leave it if you want, if he has an issue tough shit.

CanarySong Thu 19-Jan-17 11:14:23

Waxing is easier and better than shaving.

But ultimately this really shouldn't be an issue, it's your body and it shouldn't require any discussion or 'compromise'. Do what you like.

justanotheryoungmother Thu 19-Jan-17 11:16:14

I was scared about stopping too, but my DP doesn't really care and it hasn't affected anything smile

AnnieAnoniMouse Thu 19-Jan-17 11:16:57

I used to get my underarms, legs & bikini line waxed by a wonderful, funny, lovely woman. She kept telling me I should get the whole lot taken off. Over time we became friends & I tried it. I thought I'd never go back. I vastly prefer it all off & waxing is so much better. Waxing there is FAR less painful than my legs. It's not especially dignified but her scouse sense of humour got us through it 😬

Sadly she became ill & had to stop working.

Since then I've gone 'au natural' as I can't face the thought of a stranger doing it - which is much much more about my weight than my foof. I never had any issues with ingrown hairs or it being itchy etc as it grows back with a pointy end, not a blunt end like it does with shaving. It's soft & fine.

I'm going to try a few places this spring/summer for underarms & legs and maybe in time 'the whole lot'.

Current admirer of the nether regions prefers it 'au natural' which is handy, but if I decide to get it all taken off he can like it or fuck off. My nethers, my choice. If I'm feeling like accommodating him at any time I might leave a fluffy landing strip 😂, but it'll be my choice, not his.

MrsJayy Thu 19-Jan-17 11:18:51

Oh god tweezing does that not smart

Faez Thu 19-Jan-17 11:24:49

I tried shaving once and had the same experience as you. I now use veet cream, you're only meant to use it on your bikini line but I use of all over and never had a problem although I know a lot of people are allergic to it- the old formula at least. Is worrying that he's pressuring you though despite knowing it causes you such discomfort.

Farmerswife1984 Thu 19-Jan-17 11:25:17

Fucking hell.my eyes are watering reading about tweezers shock

Elsiebrowneyes Thu 19-Jan-17 11:28:37

Lemon bikini line shaved and the hmm undercarriage! Just a light trim every couple of days anywhere else! smile

CommonFramework Thu 19-Jan-17 11:28:58

Your body, you do what you want with it. Shaving sounds horrific to me.

If your partner prefers you with skin so sore that it looks red raw and horrible than au naturel, with healthy skin, then sod him.

And he shaves his genitals as well?? Eugh.

knittingwithnettles Thu 19-Jan-17 11:31:37

I'm shocked you even need to ask this. Is this what "modern" relationships demand??? You are in discomfort and you need to ask your partner's permission???

Why do you need to shave in the first place? It's there for a reason. I wax my legs in the summer, but not the winter. And that's it.

ArcheryAnnie Thu 19-Jan-17 11:32:23

It's way more hygienic to keep a bit of hair there - as you have found out, stripping it all off leads to nicks and cuts, ingrown hairs, hyperpigmentation and all sorts of other things.

There are midway points to ripping it all out and leaving completely au naturel - you can get a trimmer which leaves it all fairly short but still visibly there. But au naturel is fine, too.

What your DP does to his junk is his affair. You should each do what is most comfortable for you.

trulybadlydeeply Thu 19-Jan-17 11:41:31

I don't see why you need to discuss it with him, or even have a "compromise" up your sleeve to offer him. It is your body, you are an adult, and you have pubic hair. If you choose to remove it for your own comfort/preference - then that's absolutely fine. I don't understand why he gets a choice in this?

If he is going to get grumpy and difficult about this, then he's really not worth being with. He's having a sexual relationship with an adult. An adult with pubic hair. An adult who can choose to have her pubic hair how she wants it. Surely his happiness within the relationship is based more on than the absence of hair on your labia and mons pubis?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now