Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Am I expecting too much?

(7 Posts)
Losingbattle Thu 19-Jan-17 08:04:51

Im new here, ive been reading for a little while but decided its now time to bite the bullet and ask for an outside take on my situation.
My DH and I have been married for less than a year, things seem to have gone down hill since the wedding and I feel I don't love him like I used too.
I feel DH has no motivation, no get up and go. He rarely helps in the house, leaves any job he starts unfinished, he's quite happy to just sit in the chair day after day.
He seems to have no desire to help me out or do anything nice for me and will see me struggle rather than get off his backside and lend a hand.
He's currently complaining that I don't give him enough attention and I agree, I don't, the reason being I see all of the above as a sign of disrespect so I'm angry with him pretty much constantly. It's like he's one of the children rather than a husband.
I want him to contribute to the household of his own back, to be able to do stuff without having to be chivvied along and I want to feel respected and looked after, like I can rely on him.
This is killing my love and respect for DH.
Am I asking too much of him??

TheoriginalLEM Thu 19-Jan-17 08:08:41

its horrible when you turn into a nag. So i reckon he needs to buck up his ideas. Have you told him how you feel?

Slimmingsnake Thu 19-Jan-17 08:15:46

In the same boat....I married a lazy twat have my advice thou.sorry.

Losingbattle Thu 19-Jan-17 08:19:37

I have. I'm not the best at expressing how I feel but yes, I've tried talking. I've even tried putting it into words - i seem to do better that way.
He doesn't offer any solutions and his behaviour doesn't change. He can talk an excellent relationship but his actions never match up to his words.
I hate the person this is turning me into, you're right, its awful to become a nag...

LesisMiserable Thu 19-Jan-17 10:32:48

How long were you together before you got married?

Adora10 Thu 19-Jan-17 12:55:31

Be honest, if you were girlfriend and boyfriend would you be hanging about?

If you have spoken to him until you are blue in the face then perhaps you need to think about living separately; I couldn't be with a man that was this lazy.

CatBallou2 Thu 19-Jan-17 22:09:14

Don't do anything for him. This way he'll, at least, get an idea of how much has to be done to keep a household going and how lucky he is to have you in his life.

What jobs does he do in the house? Does he do the food shopping with you or on his own?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: