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Nice Story time

(29 Posts)
bert3400 Wed 18-Jan-17 22:39:36

After all the negative stories on here especially about men , I thought I would address the balance. Today I had a migraine, never had one before so was a bit scared when I lost my vision , then the headache arrived and I figured what it was . Any way my lovely husband has come home from work ( I work partime ) cooked us all dinner , tidied up the kitchend , got the kids ready for bed including story & run me a bath once I was able to get up out of bed . He as been totally lovely . What has been really nice is that our 2 boys have seen all this. And it shows them how you treat someone you love. So does anyone have any nice stories about partners, families or friends going that little bit further , to restore the balance a little bit .

Gooseygoosey12345 Wed 18-Jan-17 22:53:51

Ooh I just did one like this! My OH is amazing too smile it's lovely to have such a supportive partner, makes all the difference in life

LesisMiserable Thu 19-Jan-17 00:30:46

I'd only been seeing my lovely dp for six months or so and we live 60 miles apart. On the night my dog was poorly I phoned him upset, I had phoned the emergency vet and they advised just to keep an eye on her as she wasnt very portable (very big dog). Without me asking or expecting he immediately drove the 60 miles at around 11 at night to be with me. My dog passed away just as he arrived. He made me sweet tea and put me to bed. He then covered my dog with a blanket, tucked it around her, but left her beautiful head uncovered so she appeared just asleep and very peaceful. I was so glad of him doing that as I found it too upsetting to touch her. He then had to leave to drive home around 5 the next morning to avoid rush hour. So selfless of him.

TheNaze73 Thu 19-Jan-17 09:22:10

Nothing to add other than to say, it's lovely to read a positive post grin

Your DH obviously has a lot of love & respect for you & your family

ScruffyTheJanitor Thu 19-Jan-17 09:32:44

This is going to sound miserable but.

I don't see anything special in what your OH did op, sorry.

A partner should look after their partner when they're ill.
A father should make food for their kids
A father should be able to run a bath
A father should put kids to bed
Etc etc

It shouldn't be a big thing to be applauded just because he's acting like a decent human being. What he's done should be the bare minimum ypou should expect.

Like I said, that sounds miserable, but I just don't see anything special about a man being a partner and father to people he should out first in all things.

Gooseygoosey12345 Thu 19-Jan-17 10:18:14

Because, Scruffy, it's lovely when someone cares about you and puts your needs first. It does us good to remember the little things that matter in relationships. It's not about big OTT gestures, just things that make you appreciate your OH and remember that they're good people who you love even when they're leaving teabags on the sink

LesisMiserable Thu 19-Jan-17 10:20:53

I think the nice thing is not the partner doing nice things as you'd expect but that they are appreciated by their partners.

ScruffyTheJanitor Thu 19-Jan-17 11:05:22

puts your needs first

This is my thinkng though.

Op was ill, OH came home to look after her. That's nice of him, I agree, but the op goes on to list things he did For her

Bathing his kids
Feeding his kids
Cleaning his kitchen
Putting his kids to bed.

To say, 'he did those things for me because I was ill' is saying those jobs are her jobs, not his jobs. He did those things as a favour to her.

Do you see where I'm coming from?

He should have done those things because they needed doing, they're as much his jobs to begin with as they are OPs.

I don't stand in the kitchen and scrub my girlfriends crunchy gussets as a favour, I do it because it needs doing. I don't bath my daughter as a favour to my gf, I do it because she's as much my daughter. Etc.

Does that make sense? I don't feel I'm explaining well.

AliceInHinterland Thu 19-Jan-17 11:12:50

I get what you're saying Scruffy. He did what needed doing because the OP was ill i.e. What any decent human being would do. I'd do that for a flat mate let alone partner.
On the other hand it's nice to normalise what decent men do rather than the depressing barrage of 'my husband treats me like a slave, is that normal?'

AliceInHinterland Thu 19-Jan-17 11:14:28

Not sure your girlfriend would love you bringing up her gussets in public though! Don't you have a washing machine?

Gooseygoosey12345 Thu 19-Jan-17 11:15:03

No I know what you're saying, that it's his responsibility too BUT we don't know the way their relationship works. Maybe it's normal for her to do those things because she's not at work. If he works all day it's fair to expect a SAHP to look after the kids and clean the house. So he is still doing it for her so that she can have a break from her role in the relationship after still fulfilling his role. Yes they are his kids too but you wouldn't expect someone to work all day while you sit at home and do nothing so he's still done more than expected

LesisMiserable Thu 19-Jan-17 11:16:47

This turned quickly 😂

AliceInHinterland Thu 19-Jan-17 11:21:29

I bet loads of women do this every day without being lauded though.
He did a nice thing, I would certainly thank my partner for doing the lion's share of an evening, but I wouldn't think it extraordinary, and I would hope he is only doing a bit more than normal, not that he doesn't normally do any of this!

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 Thu 19-Jan-17 11:46:08

My DH has been so lovely this last week too (coinciding with the fact that he was away doing a hobby all weekend, and that his mum is here to witness him being super) but moving swiftly on ;)

He has been looking after our DD2 all week, taken her here there and everywhere, done all the housework and said he doesn't want me to do anything but rest (working FT and pregnant). He has messaged me each day to ask what I would like him to cook for tea. Yday his family came over for tea semi-unexpectedly and he cooked for them all (7) but still made me what I had told him I fancied separately even though I said I would have whatever smile

Has met me with a cup of tea when I get in each evening. Got his mum to teach him how to braid DDs hair while she's here so that he can do it for her before nursery and I have extra time to eat my breakfast before work.

Has put up ikea furniture single handedly first time I asked him!

Last night he put my pjs to warm around a hottie and put the heater on in our bedroom to warm it up and sent me to bed while he washed up after all the cooking/dinner guests

Feeling the love this week <3

HorseyHorseyTwat Thu 19-Jan-17 11:46:25

TL;DR: my partner took care of me when I was ill.

Well, good. So they should.

Honestly, if more women realised that this sort of behaviour is supposed to be the norm; the Relationships board would be empty.

bert3400 Thu 19-Jan-17 18:47:20

How lovely to hear positives stories . And in some ways you are right Scruffy, it is equally the partners job . But the icing on the cake was that my DH run a surprise bath for me that is above & beyond and that is why I started this post , To show not all men are bastard .

luckiestgirl Thu 19-Jan-17 18:56:03

shock 'crunchy gussets'!

Autumnchill Thu 19-Jan-17 18:57:35

I'm currently waiting for husband to come home from work via the pharmacy. This bloody cold has come back for the third time since beginning of December and I had to come home today before I fell asleep at my desk.

He text asking what I needed when he could have just come home. I hope he doesn't show the pharmacy my text which was basically 'some strong shit which will knock out a horse' grin

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 Thu 19-Jan-17 19:05:06

When me and my DP starting going out (about 9 years ago) I would get the train down to see him where he lived (about an hours journey - I didn't have a car) and he would always drive me back home even though I lived about 50 miles away! My previous boyfriend wouldn't even walk me home and I lived about 20min walk away from him.

Bob19701 Thu 19-Jan-17 19:05:45

My thought as a man and single parent working full time , all the above are lovely things to do ...But shouldn't either partner step up to the plate all the time not just when it's an emergency situation isn't that what being a good partner / wife / husband is meant to be about ? *not being negative just a realist view.

Autumnchill Thu 19-Jan-17 19:15:36

I have medicine and a bunch of roses smile

Gooseygoosey12345 Thu 19-Jan-17 22:40:02

Horsey if more people appreciated the things mentioned maybe there'd be more happy relationships. Just because it's "the norm" that doesn't mean it should be expected, go unnoticed or not be recognised. What do you want? A mariachi band every bloody day

honeyroar Thu 19-Jan-17 22:58:07

Mine is a weird nice story!

I was out with the dogs late afternoon and we came across an injured bird. On the floor of a wet bridleway, couldn't fly, couldn't hop, couldn't move, just sitting there dying slowly. I was too cowardly to do anything. When my husband came home an hour later he walked back with me, half a mile up this soaking wet path in the pitch black to put it out of its misery. Then we went home and he helped me cook a sugar free, meat free meal (neither of which he is that enamoured with!) because I'm trying to be good!

I'm an air stewardess, and while I'm away on trips, sitting in a lovely hotel, he's at home in the cold walking the dogs and mucking out the horses after his work, none of which I could have in my life without him. And he puts up with my horse who is as horrible to him as possible at every opportunity she gets!

HorseyHorseyTwat Thu 19-Jan-17 22:59:24

But it should be expected! If your neighbour comes in and takes care of you when you're ill and feeds, bathes and puts your kids to bed; that would be going above and beyond and should be acknowledged and appreciated. But of course your partner should do it! If they can't take care of you and their own children when you're ill it's not much of a bloody partnership is it??!

HorseyHorseyTwat Thu 19-Jan-17 23:01:33

Honeyroar's story is a good example of a partner going above and beyond. Try he OP's isn't.

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