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How to accept this...

(14 Posts)
chasingrainbows27 Tue 17-Jan-17 21:55:07

I don't really know where to start with this but here it goes.

I've recently turned 27 and become massively aware of being single. I've always felt like I had loads of time to meet someone before this but now I'm really worried that it's too late. Everyone seems to be coupled in happy relationships and I can't even find a date! Lots of people are telling me that it's probably too late for me now and that all good men will be taken. I'm pretty realistic and know that they're probably right.

In the past I have had a few long term relationships and some shorter flings. I don't struggle to attract guys but I do find it hard to find a genuine connection as I don't like to compromise and settle.

To make things worse late last year I finished with a guy who pretty much ticked all my boxes yet we moved apart and also he said he didn't want a relationship (despite us being together for 10 months). Again I'm very realistic and know the chances of meeting someone as great as him with whom I feel a genuine connection are incredibly slim and I feel like there's no point even trying. Even so I don't want to be alone forever but no one comes close to comparing to him.

I do want children and I want a happy family of my own as mine are pretty rubbish and I don't know how to come to terms with the fact it will never happen for me.

Kittencatkins123 Tue 17-Jan-17 22:05:53

Lol! I'm 39 and just met someone LOVELY! And that's after meeting serious boyfriends at 28, 32 and 36!

Who are these people spouting such utter nonsense?! Ignore them! You have heaps of time to meet someone! And you're definitely right not to settle. Just try to fill your time with things and people you enjoy (who don't make those kind of unhelpful statements) and try to avoid comparing yourself to others (I know that can be hard). But you really have nothing to worry about.

Kittencatkins123 Tue 17-Jan-17 22:08:58

(Sorry for lol btw as I know it can feel crappy being single at any age, but 27 is young and you have lots of time to meet someone smile)

SoTheySentMeA Tue 17-Jan-17 22:12:14

27!! Give up now, you're an old maid! grin

OldGuard Tue 17-Jan-17 22:13:40

Most of my circle who married in their 20s divorced in their 30s

Seriously your brain isn't fully formed until you are 25

relax, live your life, do things you enjoy and are interested in, invest in yourself

To misquote the carpenters - you've only just begun

BarbarianMum Tue 17-Jan-17 22:14:43

Oh love, I remember that feeling so well. I had a few short term relationships in my early twenties, then a 2 year relationship b/w 24 and 26 then nothing, nada until 31 when I met my (now) husband.

You are young. You have time. And there are plenty of fish in the sea!

MaryMargaret Tue 17-Jan-17 22:16:49

Got together with DH well into my 30s, married at 40. Kissed a fair few frogs, but they were fun frogs wink. I did used to feel like you at your age though, but was freer to develop lots of interests - I know it's corny, but that really is how I met the best 3 frogs, including the one who came good!

LumpySpacePrick Tue 17-Jan-17 22:23:04

Not only am I 27 but I also come with the baggage of a very lively and demanding seven year old.

I recently met the most wonderful man I have ever been with and we now live together. Before him I had been single for about three years and had sort of given up on meeting anyone and was learning to just be happy on my own.

27 is still young and if you want to meet someone they will show up when you're not expecting it smile

Baylisiana Tue 17-Jan-17 22:27:58

You are very young OP, these people are talking nonsense.
You shouldn't settle.
But, and I am not saying this because of any age or rush, I would say it to anyone of any age....if you have a list of boxes to be ticked and don't like to compromise at all you are not helping yourself. Not in terms of time, but in terms of meeting the right person....a genuine connection often doesn't coincide with all the box ticking, and often will mean compromise.

SoTheySentMeA Tue 17-Jan-17 22:32:34

Just to clarify, my post was a joke...

CuriosityDoor Tue 17-Jan-17 22:38:43

I'd always been the single one in my group, I'd been OLD on and off for a few years and hadn't met anyone I liked. Then suddenly on one date when I was 27 I met my now DH! It only takes one date to change things. In the meantime, just focus on yourself, enjoy your life as it is!

Frankelly66 Tue 17-Jan-17 22:42:45

OMG get some new friends! Who are these people saying it's too late?! I've got plenty of friends your age and older who have not even had one boyfriend in their lifetime. Continue your high standards, do not settle, do not freak out. As someone else said those who settle down young end up divorcing down the track.

Frankelly66 Tue 17-Jan-17 22:43:58

Also I've been with my boyfriend 4 years and still have no desire to even be engaged. Don't compare yourself to others, they may paint a pretty picture but you never know the reality!

CatBallou2 Tue 17-Jan-17 22:49:10

Are we to believe that at every age we'll struggle to find someone we can share our lives with? Cos that's how it seems from all the doomsayers out there. Blimey, I think we'll all give up now!

Don't let anyone terrify you into believing you're time is up. They don't know a bloody thing.

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