Hi, long story, married for 20 plus years, husband very self centred and not around a lot as worked away a lot ,
3 kids , now in late teens, hadn't really got on a lot in recent years, he wasn't much support, he weren't much support with oldest lad who's behaviour was always challenging , husband didn't really want to know,
Put me down and never showed any imticy over the years , just interested in himself
We went couple counselling about 12 years ago which really helped
I worked also ,school hours to collect the children when they were young.
Usual life, running round after kids, taking things for granted, not much communication over the years ,
Lots of arguments,
18 months ago I noticed he really was distance, didn't know a lot about the cheaters script at the time, but then one day it just clicked.
I knew he was having an affair, he denied, followed the script and I did the usual, tried to change, hysterical bonding, tried couple counselling.
He said we would get back on track, I believed him etc, then coming up to Christmas just knew he was going to go, which he did just after Christmas
He moved into a flat, I had to find out via other means about OW , horrible way to find out, he continued to deny , but eventually after confronting him he said he was in a relationship.
15 years younger than him, he is in mid 50 s, she is divorced with no children
When he left, not much time for the children who were devestated.
I lost weight, felt so so low, as if all my fault, felt didn't want to be here anymore, had counselling, antidepressants , anything to get by.
Great support from great family and friends, but one year on, can't keep boring them with my feelings,
Found mums net , started reading threads and found strength from all the lovely women who have faced this awful situation,
Followed all the amazing advice from you all, went no contact, started divorce , have moved house etc, BUT just still feel so do low, blame myself so much for the break up of marriage, that I didn't put in enough effort,
Constantly what ifs , he is now living with the OW, all loved up,
I feel so ashamed that my husband left me and so guilty even though he is the LCB ,
Just can't seem to get over this hurdle , one year on, feel as if I should be over it and getting on with it,
But still feel despair, low self esteem and it's all my fault ,
Any advice please xx
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
One year after marriage ended, still in despair
user1476476739 · 17/01/2017 19:31
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.