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I want out but I'm scared.

(32 Posts)
theautismdisciple Tue 17-Jan-17 18:34:56

Just that really. I needed somewhere safe to write that down.

Just come home from work to a trashed house (kids toys etc dishes clothes muddy shoes) again.

Kids ignored all day in favour of games and I've just been screened at to get out of he livnibg room cos my noise, i.e. Cleaning the shit up is interrupting his gaming.

Asked please don't talk to me like that you aren't my dad. Got shoved out the room and door slammed in my face.

What have I done wrong?

I can't leave my son won't come with me, am trapped with nowhere to go.

theautismdisciple Tue 17-Jan-17 18:38:13

Oh I forgot his first words to me were make a cuppa tea. And what's for dinner. I hadn't even got my coat off.

shakeyospeare Tue 17-Jan-17 18:40:09

Didn't want to read and run but you deserve better.

How many children have you got? Are you renting or mortgaged? Is there a DV history?

theautismdisciple Tue 17-Jan-17 18:43:21

We've 2 children 8 and 3. House is rented from housing assoc no DV other than pushing shoving etc but I am scared of him

PollytheDolly Tue 17-Jan-17 18:43:51

Yes, more info please so we can help you find the quickest way to leave this arsehole.

PollytheDolly Tue 17-Jan-17 18:44:52

Pushing and shoving is violence.


theautismdisciple Tue 17-Jan-17 18:45:15

I can hear him laughing and joking downstairs with his 'online' gaming friends. It's all he cares about. Wtf has happened to my life.

Shakemyfaith Tue 17-Jan-17 18:46:11

Don't worry. You will get tonnes of support here. Hand holding available here. Wish you all the strength you need to leave smile

theautismdisciple Tue 17-Jan-17 18:47:30

I can't I just can't. He will never leave this house and it's the only place my autistic child has even been remotely settled.

PollytheDolly Tue 17-Jan-17 18:47:41

Has he always been a bullying twat like this?
What's he like with the children?

Do you have anyone nearby you can stay with with your DC's?

shakeyospeare Tue 17-Jan-17 18:47:52

Yes, definitely what @shakemyfaith said. We're all here for you.

Pushing and shoving is not acceptable. Being scared is no relationship for you or your children.

Have you any support around?

Whose name is house in?

theautismdisciple Tue 17-Jan-17 18:48:43

My biggest fear is that my daughter will think this is how it's supposed to be. And my son will think this is how you treat people.

theautismdisciple Tue 17-Jan-17 18:50:08

House in both names. No real support locally for either of us. He's burnt his family bridges although his mum would step in to help at any given chance. All family about 70 miles away. Don't drive.

PollytheDolly Tue 17-Jan-17 18:50:24

That's why it's time to go OP. For you and for them xx

Chelazla Tue 17-Jan-17 18:52:57

It all seems massive you need to break it into manageable lumps. Just because he isn't beating you to a pulp woman's aid etc will still help. This is emotional abuse which is often just as bad. flowers

Shakemyfaith Tue 17-Jan-17 18:53:25

Just take Baby steps. We know it's not easy and there maybe some obstacles but try like writing here, gathering info and building your resolve . You don't know what your capable of when you have no choice. You don't have to do anything immediately but knowing you want out will put you in a healthier mindset once you leave.
I believe so anyway. Hugs.

shakeyospeare Tue 17-Jan-17 18:53:42

You deserve better than a life of fear and drudgery. You deserve better than this.

Practically, I'm not sure what the best advice is, but someone on here definitely will.

Be kind to yourself - there is better out there for you - a better and happier life x

Shakemyfaith Tue 17-Jan-17 18:54:09

Until you*

Chelazla Tue 17-Jan-17 18:54:13

Would his mum help you at him?

Chelazla Tue 17-Jan-17 18:54:34


startagainagain Tue 17-Jan-17 18:55:05

Please talk to your local council/HA asap. If you are experiencing domestic abuse they can help you stay there with your children. He will have to leave. Please try to gather evidence and start writing every instance down (somewhere safe maybe notes on your phone?), and ask what they require as evidence. Go and talk to the CAB...they can help you understand the different forms of domestic abuse and what you can do for an exit route.

You do not need to live like this OP, I'm so sorry to read this, but everyone here will help support you towards a better life for you and your DC. flowers

theautismdisciple Tue 17-Jan-17 18:58:28

His mum would be here for either of us she's lovely. He doesn't think so.

Chloe84 Tue 17-Jan-17 19:01:14

Does he work, OP?

Are you working outside of the home and doing all housework as well?

theautismdisciple Tue 17-Jan-17 19:03:23

No he's the stay at home parent. I do most things bar school run. But sometimes I do that too.

Bananalanacake Tue 17-Jan-17 19:08:02

Was about to ask does he work, but if he's the SAHP then surely it is his job to tidy up, shop and prepare a meal for you when you get home. I'm a SAHM and I happily clean and cook for my DP as he's working 6 days a week, does he EVER cook for the family, he sounds bit lazy.

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