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Can things pick up from here? (Longish post)

(1 Post)
AnnaMagdalene Tue 17-Jan-17 16:12:43

I am at a difficult point after having been with my partner nearly 21 years.

My two stepchildren - who I was involved with - are in their late twenties and doing their own thing.

My daughter is well and at university.

I am 57 and have 10 more years of working life before I can claim a retirement pension. My older husband has retired at 65. He is enjoying retirement. One of the ways in which he has opted to enjoy himself is to start a business based at our house. It is beginning to make a little money but the disruption it has caused is very great in relation to the modest profit. I have also given him a great deal of help in setting it up as he is not at all savvy when it comes to social media, marketing etc. I had hoped that he would pick up some of these skills as time went on, but he just doesn't seem to 'get' that side of the business. I have also encouraged him to take on more household tasks. The results have been mixed - he is quite forgetful and as I am not baling him out in the way I used to, it means we can end up without any bread in the house when it's been his turn to do the shopping.

I think the problem is that because he used to have a well-paid, long hours job, I - mistakenly it now seems - prioritised looking after him, the house and the various children, while mainly doing badly paid work from home, and one or two small jobs locally.

I have finished a freelance project recently and just feel panic. I feel as if after twenty years we have grown apart. I resent the mess caused by his business and the space it takes up. The childrearing is over, I don't seem to have the skills to move into better paid employment - though I am currently doing an ECDL.

And I feel - to be honest - as if I don't have so much affection for him any more. It's as if the love has been used up or worn away.

I don't know where to go or what to do or how to make things better.

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