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How do you end a marriage?

(13 Posts)
Wibblywobblyfoo Tue 17-Jan-17 08:10:44

Sounds stupid I know.
I no longer want to be with him. He's a lovely guy but there's nothing there any more. 2 years ago he cheated. I thought i was ok but it killed the marriage. I'm fed up with feeling like his mother instead of wife. I'm lonely. It's all fine on the outside but I dread spending time together.
So I've told him. He just refuses to acknowledge it. He thinks ignoring me will mean we just carry on, and to be honest that tactic has been working for 2 years. Where do I go from here? We have 3 kids and a mortgage. He works ft me pt. I'm worried about financial issues with a split and coping with the bills more than I'm worried about not having him here. I can see myself stating till the kids have grown up and hating myself for it.

ErnieAndBernie Tue 17-Jan-17 08:17:14

Get a couple of free half hours with local solicitors till you find one you like. They will give you some basic advice in that free half hour. Also get yourself a meeting booked with your local CAB, they can help with what you'd be entitled to and how to go about things.

flowers I'm also on my way out of a shit marriage. It sucks doesn't it?

hellsbellsmelons Tue 17-Jan-17 08:18:54

With kids and a mortgage it's no so easy but your best bet is to understand where you would stand if you were to split.
CAB can help and it would be good for you to get a free half hour with a solicitor to understand the legalities.
Is there equity in the property?
Would you want to move?
You will need paperwork.
His wage or proof of it.
Mortgage info
Other assets, i.e. cars, savings, ISA's, etc....
All other account information.
You will need your marriage certificate if you do want to divorce him.

Wibblywobblyfoo Tue 17-Jan-17 08:24:06

The marriage isn't even really shit. Theres no fighting, no nastiness, nothing like that. Its just not for me, not anymore. I can't kiss him without thinking about the person hr had sex with. And I don't want that.

Wibblywobblyfoo Tue 17-Jan-17 08:28:25

The house has about 200 grand equity.
A few grand savings.
No debts.
I have full access to all banking

jeaux90 Tue 17-Jan-17 08:40:56

You don't need his permission to end the marriage. Take legal advice, talk to him again and tell him it's over and then crack on legally x

ErnieAndBernie Tue 17-Jan-17 08:42:13

Wibbly there is no fighting or nastiness in mine either. Just no love. He hasn't cheated though (he's a workaholic with a few other issues). You have my sympathies.
Get a notebook. Get originals /copies of important documents. Do a budget and don't forget things like child maintenance, council tax discount etc. See what you need in order to live. Be practical. I've just discovered a site called wikivorce, not had a big look at it yet but it seems to have tons and tons of information on it. And knowledge is power. Good luck.

Dontsayyouloveme Tue 17-Jan-17 09:43:22

I've PM'd Wibby

TheNaze73 Tue 17-Jan-17 14:16:27

Be direct & brutally honest. Don't him false hope.

I admire you for trying for a couple of years but, I couldn't & wouldn't tolerate a cheat

fulberoo Tue 17-Jan-17 15:55:21

I recognise this. No fighting or nastiness but no love. It's particularly upsetting when one partner DOES still love the other, but it's not reciprocated.

flowers OP

Wibblywobblyfoo Tue 17-Jan-17 21:57:33

It's just so difficult to know that I'm going to be the one to make the choice. To take the kids away from what they know.
It's easier just to be unforfilled rather than making them unhappy

therealpippi Tue 17-Jan-17 22:14:37

There lies the fallacy. They will not nevessarily be unhappy but they will def be if they stay in what they know if what you describe is what they know.

Trust me I speak from the experience of being the child of those who stayed and seeing my dc who have left that for something new.

therealpippi Tue 17-Jan-17 22:16:47

Therein, even

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