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Think I've come to the end of my marriage

(10 Posts)
TweedAddict Mon 16-Jan-17 22:26:45

I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel so disconnected with my husband. We've been married 2 yrs in our late twenties. We had so many issues it's hard too count; we've lost babies, I found out he was in secret contact with an ex, plus a few other things. We never have sex, he never tries. I've brought this up time and time again, I feel so alone. We should be having fun together, but we live like housemates- not even best friends.

I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so angry with him, he fooled me into thinking that we could live happily ever after, I've given him my trust and he went behind my back; it took 2 years for him too say he was sorry.

Yes he's great around the house, does a bit of running around, he thinks that's enough- that it is support. It's not he won't talk to me the no sex thing, he won't say anything other then I'm sorry. I'm losing all my respect for him.

Please someone offer me some advice, I feel like running the car off a bridge at the moment

GTS Mon 16-Jan-17 22:32:02

Crikey OP, nothing is ever worth driving your car off a bridge for.

What did he do behind your back? Was it something you have forgiven him for? If he really won't talk to you, would he consider talking to someone else?
Are you able to get some counselling to sort out in your head how you feel, you are obviously very upset and confused, and rightly so. I hope you have someone in RL to talk to about this x

Bant Mon 16-Jan-17 22:36:37

Do you have children, Tweed?

As GTS says, nothing is worth driving your car off a bridge for. You may not feel it, but you're still young.

If he's not willing to admit problems and work with you to solve them, it's best to cut your losses and find someone else. Loads of people meet their other half in their thirties (and forties) and look back on something like this as a sad mistake, but that's all

It will get better

pocketsaviour Mon 16-Jan-17 22:40:03

I'm sorry your struggling so hard OP flowers and sorry you've lost babies.

Sometimes tragedies and hard times will bring couples together but sometimes they expose cracks in the relationship. It sounds like perhaps things have just reached the end of the road for your and your H.

What are your options now? If you decide to leave, how are you fixed in terms of housing? Do you have DC together or is it just the two of you?

TweedAddict Mon 16-Jan-17 22:52:15

I've got a son from another relationship, but no children together. We rent at the moment, have been saving for a house but quite at that point yet. I don't know how I'll be able to survive on my own.

PlymouthMaid1 Mon 16-Jan-17 22:53:41

You are still very young and definitely who shouldn't be this unhappy. Talk to him and see if you can find a way back to each other.maybe the stress of losing pregnancies has left its mark. If you can't be happy together then best to separate before life gets more complicated.

TweedAddict Tue 17-Jan-17 07:59:24

He's like a wet blanket though, the only response I get is :I'm sorry. I've told him countless times I can't live this and nothing never changes, maybe for a few days and that's it. I'm fed up of going around in circles

Blushingm Tue 17-Jan-17 08:23:59

My stbexh was similar apart from the ex contact

He thought a bit of cooking and putting the bins out was enough. He avoided sex - had erection issues but refused to seek any help.

I began to resent him, we never did anything together, didn't even just chat or cuddle up or anything

Happybunny19 Tue 17-Jan-17 12:22:07

It's likely he's affected by the loss of your babies just as much as you. Perhaps this is the reason he is not interested in sex at the moment. He may fear conceiving again and loosing another.

You both need to learn to communicate firstly. Would you both be willing to try counselling?

InfoFreako Tue 17-Jan-17 15:15:45

It sounds like you both need a sit down and thrash out the issues. A nice meal or walk perhaps?

Maybe he is down but feels he can't talk about his feelings (many men can't).

Good luck!

Cheers.

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