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Feeling like I don't belong

(9 Posts)
VladmirsPoutine Mon 16-Jan-17 15:51:52

I'm currently dating someone who is very clever. His whole family went to Oxbridge and went on to work in the city / banking and law.
His father will ask me questions about recent events in a testing sort of way iyswim? Just to see if I am clued up. My partner doesn't do this but will for example find it hilarious that I didn't know Hampshire is on the Southern coast.
I always feel lost confused and frankly a bit dumb when with them. They enjoy regaling each other with legal triumphs and I'm always a bit 'what?'

Bluntness100 Mon 16-Jan-17 15:56:59

Well they are not very nice people then. Just respond with things like "why are you asking, don't you know then" or "are you going to give me a test later" and then change the subject or move away ie go to the loo or whatever.

Huskylover1 Mon 16-Jan-17 15:58:17

Agree, respond with "why do you ask?"

Ilovecaindingle Mon 16-Jan-17 16:01:50

No reason you have to revisit. .
Education does not = manners obviously. .

FaithAgain Mon 16-Jan-17 16:02:12

I'd have two issues with this: firstly the way they treat you, secondly that he mocks you. Not everyone is an intellectual. You will never know enough to answer the kind of questions they ask you (unless you maybe went to Oxbridge yourself but even then...). They already know this so they're deliberately showing you up. That's bad enough, but that he doesn't stop them and laughs at you is horrible. Does he have good qualities?!

ageingrunner Mon 16-Jan-17 16:12:44

They sound like a bunch of boring snobs

Bluntness100 Mon 16-Jan-17 16:15:08

You cannot change or complain about their topics of conversation as in regaling each other with legal stories or what ever, howver they should attempt to bring you into the conversation.

Are you sure the father is testing you? Maybe he simply talks about current affairs a lot, some folks do, but he should back off if he senses you don't know.

Your partner laughing at you is very wrong. Tell him it's not ok the next time he does it,

bert3400 Mon 16-Jan-17 16:46:38

I have a similar situation , my husband is incredibly intelligent along with his family...but they lack a lot of common sense . The number of times they will get lost ; even on simple routes . We laugh about it because they have phd's coming out of every orifice, but can't make it round the M25 ! You have to decide if your Dp has enough nice qualities to put up with the negatives of his family.

KindDogsTail Mon 16-Jan-17 17:06:47

Are sure his father is asking you in a testing way, or does he have that inquisitorial, arrogant tone with everyone - as if he is a barrister wherever he goes? Some people have developed that not very pleasant manner, but may not intentionally mean any disrespect by it.

Whatever reason, that does not mean there is anything wrong with you or that you are too stupid. I bet you are very intelligent in ways they are not and maybe that's why your partner likes you.

They may be lacking in human warmth and good manners for a start if they are talking too much about law (as one example) without explaining the conversation.

Does your partner laugh at yo/with you in a sweet way when you don't know, something, or in a sarcastic way? If the last, that is no good.

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