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What a mess... help needed!! To stay or go?

(5 Posts)
YouAndMePlus3 Mon 16-Jan-17 12:45:26

Will keep this as short as I can and not too incriminating but basically based on the below information would you stay or go? To go would mean splitting up a 12 year marriage and leaving 2 very young DCs in yet another broken home.

Reasons to go:
1. He is a compulsive liar until I find out through other avenues and we have a blazing row, still then lying to the bitter end until it's black and white on paper and he cannot lie any further.
2. He gives me basic housekeeping and keeps upwards of £1000 a month for himself
3. In the past he has flirted, over email and telephone with other women from work including business trips away. I've seen the evidence , it was Waaaay to much and in my eyes cheating. He COULD have done more , physical things and I do believe I will never truly known because he's such a liar.
4. I don't trust him, or more so what happens is I slowly start regaining trust in him then something else happens.
5. I am beginning to find the idea of other men quite appealing.
6. I do fancy him but nothing like the beginning of our relationship

Reasons to stay:
1. He is a good father
2. He says he genuinely does love me
3. He wants to stay
4. We both want the ideal happy family unit
5. We both came from a broken home and don't want history repeating itself
6. I REALLY want us to stay together for the sake of the children.
8. When we get on we do really get on well
9. He does work hard, doesnt drink, smoke, gamble, go to the pub, doesn't go out with the boys often.
10. The thought of him with another girl makes me feel sick


Adora10 Mon 16-Jan-17 12:54:28

I'd go, couldn't stay with someone with these horrible character traits - perhaps you both know deep down it's not enough to be a fully committed and happy relationship but are hanging on for your children's sake - I'd make plans to separate myself and co parent; could not be with a compulsive liar or a man that sought out extra thrills on the side.

Who wants to be with a liar until the bitter end?

TheNaze73 Mon 16-Jan-17 13:13:13

You had me at point 3, of your bad list.

If he was really into you, he wouldn't be doing that. I'd bin him off.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 16-Jan-17 13:14:44

What do you mean 'he gives you basic housekeeping'?
Who is supporting the family?
Paying all the bills?
Are you working?
No trust = No relationship

YouAndMePlus3 Mon 16-Jan-17 13:21:24

We pay almost equal amounts into the housekeeping costs but if you did it based on a percentage of earnings I pay way more. 95% of my money goes back in to the home in some way, shape or form and 5% for me, and I would say about 60% of his money goes to house. 40% on well... who the hell knows

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