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lack of respect

(17 Posts)
Bayleybee123 Mon 16-Jan-17 11:07:42

Unsure of what I'm asking really just know that I'm unhappy. Relationship hasn't been good for a while I've recently returned to education, had a family bereavement and lots to deal with. Partner is lazy, disinterested in anything have to say I'm so fed up. Went on a very rare night 2 weeks ago had a great time until later on in the night when he started to point out females he found attractive, asked what I thought about threesomes and told me the name of someone he really wanted to sleep with. I walked out and went home. He feels that I am overreacting.

HerOtherHalf Mon 16-Jan-17 11:10:19

He sounds like a sleaze. Reading your post, I'm struggling to understand why you're with him. What are you getting out of this relationship exactly that makes it preferable to being on your own or with someone else?

SparklyMagpie Mon 16-Jan-17 11:14:40

Then why are you still there then? If you're unhappy you can walk

Bayleybee123 Mon 16-Jan-17 11:24:04

I know its just hard as we have children together, at the minute I don't feel like I'm getting anything out of the relationship

Adora10 Mon 16-Jan-17 11:37:13

Tell him to fuck off, he is showing you what he thinks of you, which is nothing so do him the same service.

user1479305498 Mon 16-Jan-17 11:41:18

Yuk! get out of it as soon as you realistically can.

Bayleybee123 Mon 16-Jan-17 11:48:04

I have very few friends what with juggling children and a degree, I think I'm scared of being lonely (I'm aware this sounds pathetic). I tried to have a conversation with my mum along the lines of how unhappy I am she said all marriages are hard and to work harder at it and think of the children (not very good at advice, usually makes me feel worse than I do already). He's full of apologies and for some reason I feel a bit sorry for him, although he does think i'm overreacting. I just can't forget what he said and how excited he got talking about this other women (someone he knows from years ago, as do I). He just made me feel cheap and I know 100% that I'm not

CalamityKit Mon 16-Jan-17 12:05:18

He sounds like a shit bag, and he's treating you like this because he knows he can get away with it. He knows you don't want to be alone, and he knows he can make you feel sorry for him and feel guilty for wanting to break up.
You need to show him he's wrong, that he can't get away with it.

Buttonmushroomex Mon 16-Jan-17 12:11:12

I wonder how he'd have reacted if you'd have asked him the other way? Like a threesome with his male boss, or young good looking guys in the pub?

He doesn't sound very respectful at all you are right.

Only you know if this is something he can change, or whether you should change your life situation because of it.

Bayleybee123 Mon 16-Jan-17 12:31:16

I asked him how I would feel if he was in my shoes and I had said those things. Mentioned one of his friends to see his reaction and he told me to stop as it made him feel sick! However, he expects me to have got passed this by now and doesn't understand why I am still P**sed as he's apologised and didn't mean it he was drunk. I've told him how much he has hurt me his answer is more sex, apparently this will make it all better!

Bayleybee123 Mon 16-Jan-17 13:01:53

Thank you everyone for replying

Buttonmushroomex Mon 16-Jan-17 15:01:40

Ah not only a big twunt, but a hypocritical one at that.

Bayleybee123 Tue 17-Jan-17 10:54:55

He is a massive hypocrite he finds it acceptable to speak like this to me bit flip it the other way and it makes him feel sick, and I'm supposed to just get over it move on and pretend everything is ok!

Yoksha Tue 17-Jan-17 11:18:53

OP from reading your post, I'd rather build a life with my children than stay with this sleazebag. Your post turned my stomach. If my partner spoke to me on this subject, I'd kick him to the kerb asap. Please at least have respect fod yourself.

At least ask him to leave for say a month because from what you've been through you need some space to process your thoughts.

Hope you resolve this. Having read it a third time, I'm like "for fucks sake".

Yoksha Tue 17-Jan-17 11:20:37


Your mum's advice is unhealthy. Do you want to convey similar attitudes to your children?

EmilyRosanne Tue 17-Jan-17 11:41:31

I've just split with my partner of 7 years with two children, although he was never sleazy like that or said things to deliberately upset me I did feel like he didn't have much respect for me and was incredibly lazy so I ended up feeling like I had a third child. I'd hung in there for the sake of the children but one day it was like a switch went off in my head and I realised we deserved better and I can honestly say since he has been gone the house has been happier, cleaner and my life's been easier (even looking after both children one only 6 months on my own) I really have not missed him, I have obviously felt sad at times but more to do with the children and having to split time with them etc. but I put up with an awful lot before I got to that point, ultimately if not now u will have that time when you decide enough is enough and as hard as it is to split your children need to see a loving happy relationship to base their future relationships on.

BonnyScotland Tue 17-Jan-17 17:34:07

he's disgusting

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