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My ex is back in contact

(219 Posts)
Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:15:55

Hello long time lurker but decided to post for advice. Please be nice to me!

Bant Sun 15-Jan-17 22:18:35

You've really got to give more details than that

RacoonBandit Sun 15-Jan-17 22:18:55

You do have to give us more than that OP.

NurseRosie Sun 15-Jan-17 22:19:56

In my experience, an ex is an ex for a reason. More detail would help though.

Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:20:42

Sorry posted too soon. When i was younger and on a student placement i fell for an older married man. Im not proud of the fact he was married btw. We were together secretly for 2 years and he was brilliant with my son who was a toddler. As time went on i realised he wouldnt leave his wife and we split up. That was 10 years ago and my life has moved on. Ive done well in my career and private life

Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:22:02

Im fairly new to facebook and last night he contacted me asking me how i was and how much he missed our time together etc. I havent replied but im so tempted

Bant Sun 15-Jan-17 22:23:14

Is he still married?

Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:24:32

No they split 7 years ago they didnt have kids.

Bant Sun 15-Jan-17 22:25:21

And what's your situation?

Maudlinmaud Sun 15-Jan-17 22:25:22


Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:28:10

Im single. I loved the time we had together and hes a good person despite him being married at the time. I dont feel i can ignore the message

CanarySong Sun 15-Jan-17 22:29:53

He's not a good person.

And he's probably on a fishing expedition, casting a line out to all his exes to see who bites.

chocolatespiders Sun 15-Jan-17 22:31:05

Don't flatter him by replying.. he didn't want a proper relationship with you all of those years ago so don't give him one now

Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:31:08

I dont think its that canary.

RacoonBandit Sun 15-Jan-17 22:31:23

So don't ignore the message.
Just remember this man not only lied to his wife for 2 years but he led you and your child down the garden path.

Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:32:26

I know but things arent always black and white. Were both older now with more life experience. I know he felt guilty for cheating on his wife

Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:33:05

I knew he wasnt leaving his wife for me racoon

HeddaGarbled Sun 15-Jan-17 22:33:12

He was married. You were young and a student on placement in his workplace. He used you for sex with no intention of leaving his wife.

Sorry, what was your question?

Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:34:45

Hedda it was more than sex it went on for 2 years. We even went on holiday with my son.

RacoonBandit Sun 15-Jan-17 22:34:55

So why did you stay for 2 years and why did you end it?

Still a liar and a cheat though isn't he?

RacoonBandit Sun 15-Jan-17 22:35:30

We even went on holiday with my son.


Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:35:51

Because he wasnt going to leave his wife

GrumpyInsomniac Sun 15-Jan-17 22:36:03

So guilty that he managed to live with that crippling guilt for 2 whole years hmm

Seriously, if he was any kind of decent he would have either sorted out his marriage or left his wife before getting involved with you first time around. You know from being the OW that he's a cheat. Will you ever be able to trust him if you get back together?

You're well rid. Find someone who deserves you.

Bigfluffybear Sun 15-Jan-17 22:37:41

Im curious as to what he has to say.

RacoonBandit Sun 15-Jan-17 22:38:14

Because he wasnt going to leave his wife

So he did lead you down the garden path. You were with him 2 years and only ended it when you realised he would not leave his wife for you.

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