Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Have you ever had a spark with someone online then met and been disappointed ?

(20 Posts)
DowhatIwanttodo Sun 15-Jan-17 21:59:41

I haven't!

If I've found someone a bit boring or hard work online, then generally I have found them the same in real life. But the few guys where there has been a bit of banter, I have enjoyed their company in real life and it's developed into something more.

I'm starting to think I should trust my instinct on this and only meet men who I feel that connection with rather than waste my time giving someone a chance and having that heart sinking feeling within seconds of meeting.

HellsbellsE18 Sun 15-Jan-17 22:46:08

I met a guy Friday who I thought looked nice in his photos and we had chatted and he sounded lovely. He was lovely but didn't look anything like his photos which were obviously not recent!! I was very disappointed I have to say!! No spark for me!

Shodan Sun 15-Jan-17 22:51:05

Yes grin

Met a guy online recently, had a lot of chats. We got on really well, he looked nice in his photos etc.

Met him for a drink one evening and have never been so bored in my life! He didn't seem able to carry a conversation- any attempt I made to start one was met with one or two lines of answer, then an awkward silence would reign until I came up with another topic. And he wore a lot of very unpleasant aftershave too blush
I managed one hour before I made my excuses and left.

9GreenBottles Sun 15-Jan-17 23:08:50

Oh yes!

In my first forays into OLD, it happened several times to me (although by and large, they wanted to meet me again), then I decided to arrange dates very quickly after making contact to avoid spending a lot of time thinking there was a spark and being disappointed.

Bant Sun 15-Jan-17 23:20:44

Ha. Read the dating thread on here, post 990 or so. Horrific!

But yes, most times I've been disappointed. Funny behind a keyboard, dull in real life. Often angry with an ex, not as attractive as their photos, and then they lunge in for the kiss at the end of the date, and you just want to get the hell out of there and meet someone who's actually interesting..

LellyMcKelly Mon 16-Jan-17 04:29:17

Yes! Met what I thought was the funniest, wittiest, cleverest man alive, on Twitter. He turned out to be a narcissistic, bitchy, self entitled, knob in real life. Excellent writer, horrible human being. Meet quickly if you find that spark. Don't waste time swapping bon mots for months. My DP has dyslexia so is terrible online, but he's hilarious, and kind, and gorgeous in real life.

DowhatIwanttodo Mon 16-Jan-17 04:49:57

Oh really!

I have met a couple of guys where an hour has been too long. Sometimes you know within a few seconds you are not interested. I drove past someone waiting for me and knew on sight he wasn't my type.

The ones where it worked out I already had that attraction there.

I ask as I am chatting to several men online but only one or two are standing out.

wiilma Mon 16-Jan-17 06:08:36

DH was really odd online. I thought he seemed interesting and nice but eccentric and thoughtful/philosophical type. I wasn't convinced we'd be a couple but intrigued nonetheless. With a few minutes of meeting him I was hooked and have been ever since. He isn't remotely philosophical etc though, very normal bloke.

On the other hand, the charming, witty, thoughtful man I was entranced by online (and on the phone) raped me the first time we were alone together.

Don't judge a book by its cover or a man by his online profile I guess.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Mon 16-Jan-17 06:18:50

Dh and I met in real life. During our first year I was away overseas quite a lot and his emails and online chat were v different to talking with in person. Stilted. No jokes. Sometimes quite intense on a particular subject. I later found out that he really plans what to write in an email, revises it servral times, rather than writing off the cuff. Some people aren't 'natural' at online conversation. Also he isn't great at phone conversation. Great in person though. If someone seems to have good attributes, I'd give them a chance. Maybe a quick date eg coffee before you commit to a whole evening.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Mon 16-Jan-17 06:19:55

That's terrible wiilma, I'm so sorry

BernieBear Mon 16-Jan-17 09:51:05

Oh god, that's awful wiilma, did you report it? flowers

wiilma Mon 16-Jan-17 10:01:00

Sorry I derailed the thread a bit there, people please feel free to answer the originally question! blush

Yes I reported but only 10 months later as felt so stupid for having got myself into that situation. I've posted about it on here under a different name before - police royally fucked up and didn't/wouldn't investigate until it was too late - currently taking civil action against the police force and appealing against the CPS refusing to prosecute after the police re-investigation. Sigh.

BernieBear Tue 17-Jan-17 15:54:51

I'm sorry to hear that wiilma - I hope you get some resolution soon flowers

PollytheDolly Tue 17-Jan-17 16:04:46

We met online (but not a dating site, a common interest forum). Started bantering in the threads over quite a long period of time then I got a PM! We didn't know what each other looked like and lived opposite ends of the country. Messaged constantly for a month before meeting. We had a real, proper connection from the start. Now we are soul-mates (cheeeese I know) and can't bear to be apart. We just love being together and have loads in common.

As they say, the rest is history and we are eloping soon. But I did get that "feeling" right from the start.

MagicChicken Tue 17-Jan-17 16:25:51

Yes. I was an avid user of a forum (not MN) about 15 years ago and I made great online buddies with a big group of people but with three other women in particular. The forum arranged a meet up and I went along enthusiastically. Most people were great but the one woman I thought was my biggest mate turned out to be ...... peculiar. I just didn't gel with her at all in real life and had I met her in RL first I don't think we'd ever have got to the stage of being friends at all. She was attention seeking and really annoying.

I thought it was just me, but I chatted to another friend from the same forum a few months later and she said exactly the same thing.

Dineoutone Wed 18-Jan-17 21:00:31

Yes! Had some great chats with a guy who was witty, interesting and seemed to come across as very kind.

Met him and it was the most awkward 20 minutes. We left after that. He was like a totally different person to who I had chatted with,

Elledouble Wed 18-Jan-17 21:05:58

Yup. One occasion with a bloke who seemed really interesting and creative but ended up being weird and intense and patronising in person.

On the other hand, my current partner didn't really light my fire online but thought I'd give him a chance cos it seemed like we had a lot in common from his interests. We've been together for six years and have a son now smile

AllTheBabies Wed 18-Jan-17 21:10:13

God yes.

One guy looked handsome in his photos and seemed lovely, kind and interesting. Couldn't wait to meet him.

Turned out he was an overweight, sweaty 35 year old tory who still lived with his parents. And he wore terrible shoes.

Missyaggravation Wed 18-Jan-17 21:16:56

Not really had anyone radically different from online persona. Apart from boyfriend, I can't even remember how we ended up meeting irl. Think I'd had a terrible date and on the spur of the moment invited him round. He is utterly awful online and at messaging in general, well apart from when we are arguing hmm but he makes me laugh loads irl and we have great chemistry

lubeybooby Wed 18-Jan-17 21:30:18

yep, often back when i was dating... early days anyway.

it was the reason for introducing the pre date, date.

30 mins, certainly no longer than an hour, just to physically check each other out and break the ice. Then if that goes well you have a proper first date you can both truly get excited about as you already have some attraction and rapport IN PERSON which is a world away from pictures

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: