Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Getting irritable

(13 Posts)
bananasmoothie Fri 23-Feb-07 10:42:44

Last month me and DP went into a travel agents to price up holidays, we're done this many times and never actually booked anywhere so being sick of never going anywhere we booked a holiday on impulse that day.

Neither of us (or the kids) have passports or any money saved up so it was a pretty stupid thing to do but we worked out we could do it if we stuck to a plan.

Pleased to say, half of the money has been paid off in just two months so actually paying for the holiday is no longer a worry.

What is irritating me however is that he is showing no urgency in getting his passport sorted out. I got my forms the same week as the holiday was booked, got them filled in, got all the photos (well mine and the kids) done that week and the forms are now waiting with a friend who has signed them for me so they're just waiting to be sent off.

DP on the other hand went as far as to get the forms and that's it.

He's had the forms for over a month now, vagely asked me how to fill them in about 3 weeks ago, still hasnt bothered to do so...he didn't get his photo done as he said he needed a haircut first so he got the haircut 2 weeks ago and suprise photo's. He said he would get them done whilst he was staying at my house last week, everytime we went near a booth he said he didn't have enough change or didn't fancy doing it at that specific point in time, he's doing my head in, so bloody lazy.

Anyway I was talking to him last night and he said "yeah I was thinking...I'm going to get my passports next month, I've made my mind up!" as if I should be happy or proud of him. Chances are however...he won't.

Please be honest, am I being a nag? am I being too OTT about it?

Ok so the holiday isnt until September but even so is it wrong to expect him to pull his finger out a little?? it's not that he doesnt want to go as he's paid most of the money, it's just that he's so bloody lazy and is used to everyone else doing everything for him.

catsmother Fri 23-Feb-07 10:52:26

This seems very familiar.

Haven't you posted about the same thing before ..... and forgive me if I've got the wrong end of the stick, but are you the Mner with a boyfriend she can't stand but are sticking with until the holiday's done and dusted ?

If you're going away in September then there really isn't any urgency to get the passport sorted immediately is there. I don't see what difference it makes so long as it's ready before you go.

Maybe you're annoyed because his lack of action perhaps implies that he's not as enthusiastic as you are ? .......... then again, maybe he's picked up on the fact that it's not really him himself that you want on this holiday, but simply someone to enable you to go at all. Though if you're the same person I'm thinking of, he doesn't sound much of a catch at all. That said ...... catch or not, it can't be pleasant to feel someone's only with you for a holiday and actually, you make their skin crawl.

mummylin2495 Fri 23-Feb-07 10:54:32

My dh did this too .he was travelling to France on the monday and on the previous thurs we had to travel up to the passport office in wales to get his passpot renewed.It cost double the price and we had to wait around for about 5 hrs till itwas ready ,He had known for months it ws running out.

bananasmoothie Fri 23-Feb-07 10:55:21

I am the same person but I have to make it clear, I could've gone on the holiday without him, I don't need him for the holiday...we booked it when things were ok between us.

I guess you're right in some of the other stuff though.

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 23-Feb-07 10:57:40

Reading this and other threads of yours re him makes me want to ask you the following:-

Why are you with him exactly?. What is in this for you?. I can see the attraction for him most certainly, he's a freeloader.

Why are you doing this to yourself, do you honestly not feel you can do any better partner wise than this immature manchild?.

"It's just that he's so bloody lazy and is used to everyone else doing everything for him". Well who is to blame for that?. His parents - and now you're doing the same.

I think his inherent laziness is only a small part of a much larger problem in your relationship. This is not sustainable is it?. Everyone to date has enabled him and you're now carrying on where his Mother has left off. He's an immature manchild who will not change. You can though get a backbone.

wartywarthog Fri 23-Feb-07 12:24:58

bananasmoothie, i've asked you on every single one of your threads about this guy why you're with him. you haven't responded.

look, we're (or me at least) are going to give you the same advice no matter how often you post about him.

this guy doesn't treat you with respect. he's got plenty of time to get his passport sorted, so i think your irritation is more to do with him than his passport application tbh.

sorry if this is harsh.

weluvu Fri 23-Feb-07 12:46:56

sod him, go without him and send him a postcard saying "having a great time, glad you're not here".

catsmother Fri 23-Feb-07 20:34:41

If you don't need him for the holiday why (if memory serves correctly) did you say in a previous post that you were waiting to dump him until after the holiday as you couldn't let your kids down ? I got the impression you couldn't afford to go without him.

If that's not the case and everything he does (seemingly) irriates you then get rid - surely ?

AuldAlliance Fri 23-Feb-07 20:44:08

On Tuesday, you said: "His parents have never been out of the country so have no passports, he hasn't even got his sorted out yet, he's more interested in making sure he gets to the shop on time in order to get the latest xbox game...I'm secretely hoping that he doesnt get his passport in time then I'll *have to* go on my own."
So it's all working out as you planned. Where's the problem?

bananasmoothie Fri 23-Feb-07 20:53:24

The problem is I'm sick to death of men, all of them.

catsmother Fri 23-Feb-07 21:39:00

You need to give yourself some man-free time then.

LucyLemon Fri 23-Feb-07 21:40:21

I have also read most of your previous posts on this boyfriend.
I don't mean to be rude but it seems as though you are simply using him. I'm not calling you names, but if you take a step back then this is really what you are doing whether you mean to or not.

He is never going to be the man of your dreams. Why waste your life (and his) by being discontented?
It's just not worth it. Surely you can find someone with a little more oomph and who you are more compatible with than this chap?

LucyLemon Fri 23-Feb-07 21:41:11

Yes, man-free time is a good idea.
Do you have many female friends to support you in singledom?!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: