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Husband looking at 'teen' porn

(37 Posts)
ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed Fri 13-Jan-17 18:21:18

I'm feeling a little sick about it. It's all mainstream website so nothing illegal but some of videos he's watched are classed as 'teens' one video was tagged as 'very very young girl'I ( I viewed it to check it wasn't child abuse and it wasn't' but why do these sites tag line them with such words as this?! And why would any guy want to view it? Girls are like 18 19 20 He's been watching other types of porn too so 'teen' isn't exclusive.
I can't look at him I feel so disgusted at him. He's in his 40s ffs.

GizmoFrisby Fri 13-Jan-17 18:24:04

Don't have any advice other than LTB feel very sorry for you to have to deal with this cakeflowers

FrankAndBeans Fri 13-Jan-17 18:25:07

Ugh. I couldn't cope with this. It's sexualisation of young girls, it's repulsive. I couldn't have sex with him again.

FrankAndBeans Fri 13-Jan-17 18:25:31

Also not illegal doesn't equal morally okay. flowers

Ilovecaindingle Fri 13-Jan-17 18:27:04

Has he got a dd?
Just thinking how would he feel if his dd was involved in the porn industry. . Those young girls are someone's dd.

ILoveDolly Fri 13-Jan-17 18:35:17

Personally I don't get quite as upset about men watching porn as some of the people on here. As you have noticed they are mainstream porn and are tagged as young girls probably because even older men find young women more sexy. Porn is fantasy and I presume your husband is watching videos that remind him of sexy youth times as quite frankly watching 40 years having sex isn't quite so fun.
Why would any guy want to do something that makes him feel young and virile? There is a big difference between young women and children and maybe you need to not jump to awful conclusions about your husband's sexuality but consider genuine reasons why he might be resorting to porn (feeling old, dissatisfied with life, sexual frustration or overcharged sexual drive, curiosity/boredom)

DameDeDoubtance Fri 13-Jan-17 19:53:13

Grim, really grim.

ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed Fri 13-Jan-17 20:48:23

Ilovedolly I have to disagree on most of your post. I'm dissatisfied with life too but I don't seek out 18 year old boys who look young to watch and get off on.
I also question why these sites have to name them so controversially.

Teaandcakeat8 Fri 13-Jan-17 20:49:29

I watch porn and loads of the videos are named/tagged as this, it's just to improve the search rankings I guess. It probably doesn't mean the girls in them are underage. I guess this type of porn is just popular so videos are named this way to improve their search rankings.

I know porn is unpopular on here but I watch it regularly and have done even when I'm in happy and sexually fulfilling relationships. Sometimes you just want a quick release and I use it to explore what I may be into in real life.

If he is otherwise a good DH I would not read too much into this.

ChocoChou Fri 13-Jan-17 20:52:22

I'm with Dolly and teacake...

MyWineTime Fri 13-Jan-17 22:35:21

The teens in teen porn don't even look like teens, it's just a genre.

If porn is off limits then fine, but I wouldn't treat teen porn any different to any other type.

LastGirlOnTheLeft Fri 13-Jan-17 22:55:30

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Happybunny19 Fri 13-Jan-17 23:00:31

I'm also with Dolly and Teacake. It's a particular genre that covers a roleplay theme and the people who appear at most obviously not young teens.

LastGirlontheleft, who are you referring to as poison exactly - offensive much?!

charlestrenet Fri 13-Jan-17 23:05:27

How do any of you know that the "teens" are over the age of consent? If he's on those free streaming sites like youporn etc, they don't check because the original content comes from all over the place. So it is perfectly possible to view child abuse on them.

Blossomdeary Fri 13-Jan-17 23:07:24

I cannot agree with the exploitation of women and it is naive to assume that these women are doing it as a chosen career.

I would not be able to deal with an OH who behaved in this way - with complete lack of concern for the women involved.

I am so sorry OP that you are having to find a way of dealing with this. Your feelings about it are entirely natural.

gillybeanz Fri 13-Jan-17 23:10:16

I'm with Dolly, teacake, and Happy

They aren't young girls at all, it's role play. I can understand if you don't like porn at all, it's each to their own but nobody believes these are teens.
Just talk to him about it

lastGirl, steady on old girl.

DeleteOrDecay Fri 13-Jan-17 23:16:56

I'm anti-porn in general but the fact that there is a market for 'barely legal teens' in porn especially turns my stomach, even if the women are older than the age they are portraying. It makes me wonder how many people who watch this genre would 'go younger' if it were legal to do so. Fantasy or not it's grim.

Redlocks28 Fri 13-Jan-17 23:20:49

I thought 'teen' porn was just women wearing school girl outfits?

LastGirlOnTheLeft Fri 13-Jan-17 23:22:24

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

charlestrenet Fri 13-Jan-17 23:33:29

Lastgirl I think that porn is often filmed abuse and rape and at the very least involves tenuous consent. "Teen" porn is even more dodgy because while some of it is done by women over the age of consent, not all of it is and there is no way of checking what is legal, particularly given that sites that show the films are often several removes from the original suppliers. Just because something is on an easily findable site it doesn't mean it's legal.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Fri 13-Jan-17 23:39:05

That escalated quickly... shock

MyWineTime Fri 13-Jan-17 23:42:39

If he's on those free streaming sites like youporn etc, they don't check because the original content comes from all over the place. So it is perfectly possible to view child abuse on them.
The site would get taken down very quickly if they had child abuse on them. They are legal sites and would not exist if they allowed illegal content.
YouTube is content from all over the place but it is still moderated.

Offred Fri 13-Jan-17 23:45:51

Agree with charles and blossom but TBH this is not about me!

OP I think porn is especially tricky if you are a person who thinks porn is ok generally but a particular type of porn is not ok.

In that case you really need to think hard about why you feel porn generally is ok but this kind of porn is not.

Then you need to talk to your husband.

charlestrenet Fri 13-Jan-17 23:47:25

You think youporn asks for birth certificates?

Offred Fri 13-Jan-17 23:48:01

There is an issue there obviously because it is not possible for you to know necessarily what porn is going to upset you but if the boundary you have had is that porn is ok generally he hasn't really crossed the boundary knowingly IYSWIM?

The only way to move forward will be discussing it with him but you need to be clear on what your feelings are and why you have them first IMO.

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