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Positive stories

(7 Posts)
loulou1626 Fri 13-Jan-17 13:58:38

So my gorgeous baby boy is 3 months old, we're ticking along nicely and I'm starting to make plans for the future and getting more positive each day, which is great as I never thought I'd end up feeling the slightest bit okay ever again. However, I still have the odd dark day; today for example, I happened to glimpse a picture of my ex on a mutual acquaintance's Facebook (someone I deleted straight away thereafter) which was taken at a wedding of someone I used to be friends with before the split and they automatically sided with him, and he was all dressed up (never even owned a suit when we were together) and sat with whatsherface and two people who, again, I used to be friends with, chatting away like he's not some spineless asshole who abandoned me when I was pregnant and has never seen his son. Don't get me wrong, most days it really doesn't get to me anymore as I can't find too much decent feeling toward a person who can do that, but naturally little things like that can piss me off when I let myself think about it, which is rarely these days but I am only human.

The point of my post is that although I'm nowhere near ready for such a thing, I'd like to hear any happy stories of people with young children meeting someone and it all working out nicely, because while I know deep down it's very likely to happen, I'm still quite unable to truly convince myself that it will. Right now I'm happy enough on my own and want to be truly settled before anything happening, but some nice stories in the meantime would be helpful so if there any, please tell! smile

stealmyhappiness Fri 13-Jan-17 15:10:56

my children are older end of primary and i split with there dad after being together 11 years, it was a bad relationship but i hung on as i didnt think i would meet anyone else. i decided to end the relationship after months of bad treatment that i couldnt take anymore followinf years of unhappiness and met someone 2 weeks later! i know it was very soon and my family all told me this but 2 years down the line we live together and are getting married this year! he is amazing with my kids too.

my friend has been left last july(we think for another woman) when her baby was 5 months old, they had a perfect relationship in my eyes and in hers so it was very surprising when he left, she still struggles on a daily basis but is keeping herself busy and has met someone who is a male friend, he wants a relationship but she isnt ready yet and he knows it, he would love to take on her baby and have a proper relationship. he has helped build her confidence too.

i think in some cases it is easier for men to get in relationships with women whilst the children are still young!

i hope you are ok

loulou1626 Fri 13-Jan-17 15:46:40

stealmyhappiness thank you for your reply, I am doing okay thank you smile

Aw it sounds like it all worked out wonderfully for you! I guess when you know, you know smile It also sounds like your friend is on a positive road too, hopefully it works out for them too.

Yeah I've been thinking along those lines too, the thing is that because my son's father isn't around at all, I'm quite nervous about meeting someone because he would have to want both of us, want the faniky life, you know? I mean obviously I'm not looking for a replacement dad but you know what I mean, I need someone who wants to look after us, who will love both of us and want to do anything for us, not the other way round where I end up with an overgrown man child...basically I need a good man!! grin

Just have to keep the faith I guess!

stealmyhappiness Fri 13-Jan-17 16:16:49

i think it will be easier if the dad isnt in the picture! (not that its for the best) my kids dad sees them but it is very sporadic and when he feels like it , my friends "baby daddy" texts her all the time as he very much wants to be involved so its been really hard for her to move on when she is still in love with him. everytime she gets a text it sends her right back to square one. dont get me wrong it is good he wants to be a good dad but to see her in states everytime he sends a simple message... it will improve over time though. the fact my childrens dad shows little interest has helped my two bond amazingly with my fiance as they crave a father figure. i think i have the easier situation out of the both of us because he isnt interested and i have been able to move on with my life

InfoFreako Fri 13-Jan-17 16:21:51

I hope the OP is ok.

I'm sure things will get better each day.

Keep off social media and choose a new partner wisely (don't just rush in at the first guy that comes along!)


loulou1626 Fri 13-Jan-17 17:48:39

stealmyhappiness I know what you mean, in a lot of ways I'm glad it's just me because it means I can raise my son in the best way possible without having to worry about his heart getting broken by someone who doesn't want him and, as you say, we can move on with our lives.

InfoFreako thank you for your reply smile Oh me too, and they are, I know I'll never feel like I did during those first few months, it can only get better. Oh I know, believe me I wouldn't rush in; a friend of mine expressed his interest a few months ago and while he's good with my son, there was just no way so it's not so much about rushing, my concern is actually being too afraid to take the leap should the right guy come along for being too worried about him not being the right guy! confused

loulou1626 Fri 13-Jan-17 21:56:11

Bumping to see if there's anyone else with experience in this sorta thing!

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