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SAHMs - what do you get from your dps?

(117 Posts)
puffling Thu 22-Feb-07 20:05:14

Thinking of giving up work to look after dd who's now 11 months. Have read SAHM thread to see if I should or should not be put off the idea.
DP and I have discussed how much he should give me. At the moment, we're saying he'll pay for all bills, car and food and he'll give me £300 a month. Obviously, I will end up paying for things from the chemist, her clothes etc.
Does all this sound reasonable? What arrangements do you have? If you don't mind me asking?

tortoiseSHELL Thu 22-Feb-07 20:06:14

Dh and I have one bank account, all our income goes in, all our outgoings come out. Think that's the only fair way of doing it, hate the idea of being 'given' an amount a month.

clayre Thu 22-Feb-07 20:09:10

i'm with toroiseSHELL we have a joint bank account, and i have as much right to use it sa dp, i hate the thought of get paid to look after my own kids.

buktus Thu 22-Feb-07 20:09:25

why are you getting paid so to speak to look after dd, agre with tortoise on this

hana Thu 22-Feb-07 20:09:30

ummm we have a joint bank account and spend accordingly. I don't like the idea of having an allowance from my husband to look after our children!!

Avalon Thu 22-Feb-07 20:09:31

Joint account.

What's his is mine and vice versa.

Greensleeves Thu 22-Feb-07 20:09:45

Do people really still do this?

DH doesn't pay me, I'm not an employee. We are a family and we make financial decisions together. It's our money.

Spidermama Thu 22-Feb-07 20:09:59

Same here tortoise. In fact we've done this since we first started dating and never argued about money and never looked back. I realise now we're quite lucky in this though.

FluffyMummy123 Thu 22-Feb-07 20:10:37

Message withdrawn

lockets Thu 22-Feb-07 20:11:28

Message withdrawn

hana Thu 22-Feb-07 20:11:49

puffling, don' t think anyone is going to come on and let on they get a monthly amount from his take home pay. seems most dont anywyas. why don't you have a joing account??

Greensleeves Thu 22-Feb-07 20:11:56

same here Spidermama, we pooled resources (and debts) about 3 weeks after we met. We knew we were going to be together, so there didn't seem to be much point fannying about

Helennn Thu 22-Feb-07 20:11:59

Same as tortoiseshell, joint account. The other day I was at the local farm shop and I had just about run out of cash. The lady said, "Oh, you'll have to go home and ask DH for some more money", - I laughed, and said, "no, I don't think so, I'll just help myself!". I was horrified at the idea of having to ask my dh for money for food. Thought that sort of thing had died out years ago. Sorry to be blunt!

bristols Thu 22-Feb-07 20:12:18

Us too. I don't have 'housekeeping' money. DH pays the mortgage and all the bills. What's left goes into a joint account that we both dip into for food, petrol, clothes etc etc. Seems to work well for us. I don't fancy the idea of being given an allowance

pollyanna Thu 22-Feb-07 20:12:23

we have a joint account too.

Sobernow Thu 22-Feb-07 20:12:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

isaidno Thu 22-Feb-07 20:12:36

I'm in agreement with everyone else - we have 2 joint accounts. One for bills, etc and one for spending money.

I also have a housekeeping account where the child benefit and tax credits go, along with £200 from the bill account. This is for food shopping and I do not class it as my money.

funnypeculiar Thu 22-Feb-07 20:12:45

joint account (although am now p/t working)
Although in contrast to others here, I almost wonder if I would have LIKED an allowance - I'd been used to being chief income earner/high disposable income pre-kids and felt awful spending dh's money (hasten to add this was entirely MY issue, not his) - I ended up being quite unnecessarily frugal . Obviously, if I'd spent the allowance, I'd just have carried right on ...

AlaskaDingo Thu 22-Feb-07 20:15:05

Joint account.

I've never heard of anyone being paid by their partner to stay at home...... how many days holiday/ sick would you get? what would your hours be? is there a pension scheme? .....

morningpaper Thu 22-Feb-07 20:16:12

We have a joint account where ALL the money goes and then we each have THE SAME AMOUNT as personal "pocket money" to spend on ourselves.

NotQuiteCockney Thu 22-Feb-07 20:17:51

Ah, see, I get a bank transfer from DH every month. He doesn't like the idea of a joint account. I'd be ok with a joint account, but am ok with separate accounts.

That being said a) I have a credit card, that he pays the bills on (he has one that I pay the bills on, too) b) if I need more money, I just have to say so, and he'll give me more.

ScoobyDooooo Thu 22-Feb-07 20:18:28

We share everything & i am a SAHM i would hate it if dp said here is X amount for you to live on etc etc

Posey Thu 22-Feb-07 20:21:03

Just as an extra idea...
My sister works pt, her dh works full time. Both their salaries go into a joint account for all things joint iyswim. But then they both have a separate account into which they put a certain amount each month (not sure how much, but say £200). Then out of that they do their own "treat" stuff. I think the reason was, he does a lot of golf, she likes to go to a spa now and again or have an expensive haircut. It prevents them feeling guilty for treating themselves more than the other out of joint money. Then say her dh wants new golf clubs, he saves up out of his treat money. If they've got money in the joint account left over at the end of the month, they decide whether it goes into savings or into their treat money.

Sounds complicated, but works really well for them.

chirpygirl Thu 22-Feb-07 20:23:00

We don't have a joint account (as his bank wouldn't let me, I am a bad credit risk!) but all bills etc come out of DH's account and I only pay my phone bill out of mine, rest of tax credits and benefit is mine for DD and me, I also seel avon and any profit from that is mine.

I do have a credit card on his account and I buy all food on that and then pay as much as I can off each month and DH pays the rest.

I hate not having my own money, I only have £100 every 4 weeks BUT I don't actually need to spend that on anything.

Sobernow Thu 22-Feb-07 20:23:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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