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(11 Posts)
MrsAC1 Thu 12-Jan-17 20:09:21

I posted before about how my husband gave me an std. We decided to try and work through things together and it seemed to be going well but about a week ago we had an argument and he went off to work but came home and tried to harm himself. He is very depressed and I'm not sure how serious an attempt it was but I had to phone 999 at the time as I panicked and didn't know what to do. At the time I was upstairs in bed as was our baby. Now it has been referred to social services. I'm not really sure what to do. I don't know how I can help him and I need to keep my child safe.

ALaughAMinute Thu 12-Jan-17 20:18:04

If you think that you and your baby are in danger then you must act now. Don't take any chances. If you think you are in danger dial 999 and have him removed from the house.

Is your husband abusive or violent? Do you have anyone in RL that you can talk to?


Testificateman Thu 12-Jan-17 20:20:41

What sort of attempt on his life did your husband make? Some are attention seeking, some are for pity whilst some are more worrying.
Does he have a history of depression?
I know that, in the past, when I've been bad, I've pressed the self destruct button.

Ilovecaindingle Thu 12-Jan-17 20:24:35

You did the right thing. He needs help and you need to know that you and baby are safe. And that he is too.

MrsAC1 Thu 12-Jan-17 20:32:40

He has a history of depression and had tried to commit suicide in the past. He tried to cut his wrists with the kitchen knife and was very unsuccessful so was more likely attention seeking rather than serious. He is not physically abusive but has anger issues and it can be scary when he is angry as he is very kid and punches walls/kicks things/shouts

MrsAC1 Thu 12-Jan-17 20:33:15

Loud not kid

Lovemusic33 Thu 12-Jan-17 20:33:16

My ex did this a lot, we would have a rgument and he would threaten suicide, I had to call the police twice, the first time I thought he had hung himself at work, it was so upsetting, when I found out he hadn't I was also very angry for making me worry so much and for wasting police time, a few days before Christmas we had a argument and he went missing, I reported him missing to the police, he then turned up and told me he had just taken a large amount of pills, I told him that I didn't care anymore and he drove off, the police found him and took him to hospital and he was fine. This was the end of our relationship, he carried on the threats but as far as I know he is healthy and well.

If you are worried then call the police, if you think he's doing it for attention then you need to think seriously about your relationship. My partner had cheated on me, when I found it he thought threatening suicide would win me back.

Olympiathequeen Thu 12-Jan-17 20:35:08

I would ask him to leave and get some counselling into his anger and depression issues.

pallasathena Fri 13-Jan-17 07:02:17

You must remove yourself from this relationship urgently. From what you've said, he has serious mental health issues that need professional help and management.
Also, from what you've said, his aggression will probably spiral from hitting and punching inanimate objects to real people: that means you and your precious baby and the thought of that happening is terrifying.
You cannot live in a permanent state of fear and nor should you. You and your baby must come first, must take priority and somehow, you must find the strength of will and the determination to get out of this relationship permanently before even more physical, emotional and psychological damage is done.
Get on to Womens Aid o/p. They will advise and guide you.

Testificateman Fri 13-Jan-17 12:26:38

He doesn't sound like he's the right man for you. Or for any woman really. Someone with such a temper and history of cheating on you, think it's time to throw in the towel.

tipsytrifle Fri 13-Jan-17 14:11:52

There's no need to provide graphic details on here but if he was downstairs and you upstairs, it kind of sounds like he made sure you knew what he'd done? Doesn't make it any less traumatic, and you did absolutely the right thing calling 999, but it does add a sheen of something else to this scenario. Like a shift between hitting walls etc to a place where he forces you to save him. I don't mean that to sound heartless, l'm just worried about the headspace he has entered. It's increasingly dark and actively involving you and potentially little one too. I worry about if he attacks you or child and then claims he didn't know what he was doing? And maybe he doesn't know what he's doing?

Maybe social services will be able to make recommendations about the next step? Is there anywhere else he could live for now at least? It's absolutely right that you prioritise your and dc safety.

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