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Mental abuse????

(5 Posts)
Gillbob99 Thu 12-Jan-17 14:29:49

I am going through similar, my son is 20 has been with his gf for nearly 4. Years. His father is not around much as we are divorced, I have a best friend who up until yesterday was always there for my son. My sons gf is awful, she has driven every friend he has ever had away, she has deleted his messages from others and is now in total control of his life, she comes to stay about 2/3 times a week, never talks to me, doesn't even say hello/goodbye anymore. She has now turned my best friend/companion against my son, telling my son she doesn't like my friend as he doesn't like her (he tried to like her but he caught her out as the fake she is) and has decided that seeing my son become a shell of the man he once was and now speaking to us with disrespect, he has backed away and refuses to speak to him (my friend has Aspergers, issues are very difficult for him). The atmosphere in the house is awful, neither are speaking to each other and inam stuck dealing with it. I had a breakdown over my sons relationship with his gf recently but it hasn't changed him. She controls him, they argue most nights and he stays in his room on FaceTime to her 5/6 hours a night, she bothers him at work and if he doesn't reply she is calling him all kinds of nasty things. She is happy now that my friend and son are no longer speaking, it's what she wanted, I am distraught however and no one can see or care what it's doing to me. My son picks on his little sister a lot now and his gf tells a lot of lies about his little sister. What can I do, I just want my son and friend to be close again. I can't stop crying.

pocketsaviour Thu 12-Jan-17 14:32:02

Rather than crying over your BFF not being friends with your son anymore, should you not be crying that your son is in an abusive relationship?

hellsbellsmelons Thu 12-Jan-17 14:34:41

He's 20!!!
Kick him out.
Let him fend for himself with his disrespectful behaviour.
He's an adult and unfortunately there is nothing you can do.
You just need to let him know when it all falls apart that he is welcome back.
But for now, he needs to move out and you need to try to detach.
Or you can ban the GF from the house.
Tell him it's your house and your rules and you don't like the atmosphere when she is here and she is no longer welcome.

TheNaze73 Thu 12-Jan-17 17:08:21

Bar the woman from entering your house. She sounds foul

Gillbob99 Thu 12-Jan-17 18:08:15

Oh I am, I have been doing some research into Mental Abuse and lots of sleepless nights, I have had talks with him about it but he cannot see it, even showed him what it entails. His mental abuse is my biggest worry but this other stuff is a culmination of it all. All the negative atmosphere and people backing right away just doesn't help.

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