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How to add to your life starting from scratch

(3 Posts)
Lollysuns Wed 11-Jan-17 19:50:39

I moved to a new city a year ago and I still don't feel settled in! I have my own home and I've got two close friends here but they're in long term relationships and I see them every couple of weeks.

How do you build a busy life from nothing? I keep thinking I should join some clubs, or something, but even when I do that I still don't feel settled. Does it just take time?

LuxuryWoman2017 Wed 11-Jan-17 22:12:28

Yes, it takes time.
Are you working? If so are your colleagues sociable? Do you get to visit your family and old friends?

Strangely, or maybe not the thing that helps me feel settled and 'at home' is making an effort with the people around me, the ones I pass daily in the street, the postman and shop staff. I find once these people recognise me and greet me I feel part of the place.

Clubs are great if they interest you. I'd be inclined to join something, a choir?

Could you volunteer a couple of hours a week? That would make you feel part of the community.

Good luck. I'm sure in time it'll be fine.

lorna111 Wed 11-Jan-17 22:53:25

I'm in a similar boat, I moved to a new city 18 months ago and it's been really very lonely at times, especially at weekends when everyone is with their families. Like you, I started from scratch too, I literally knew nobody when I came here. Do you have kids? If so, school can be a great way to build a social circle but if not, there are lots of other ways, especially if you live in a city. I joined lots of Meetup groups and really made the effort to go to events which at least got me out the house, even if I didn't meet anybody I really liked! I've also set up a women only social group on Meetup as I'm keen to build up a network of female friends - it's early days but the response has been really good so far. Maybe you could do something similar? Also, although I'm not a huge Facebook person, I've actually found it really useful for finding various local groups - walking, running clubs etc.

I think it takes about two years to really feel settled but each month I've found things getting easier and nicer.

Good luck!

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