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New relationship and lack of sex

(4 Posts)
BumDNC Wed 11-Jan-17 12:04:22

Firstly this is for sudden medical reasons, which are mine and I am desperately trying to sort them out.
Not only am I unwell I am feeling so so bad about it all.
He's so lovely to me and caring and understanding but 6 months in and it's all had to grind to a halt.
Then when we are together I feel so blobby and unsexy and overwhelmingly tired that I also worry I am no fun either. In the last few weeks everything has revolved around me and my issues and an amazing day out he planned wasn't much fun for me because I am so consumed by my medical issues which make me anxious (socially as much as just plain old worry).

He is 100% not pressuring me but I worry that the intimacy will die and I don't know how to keep it alive?

I previously had a wobble over whether we were right as a couple, but his hero super male nurse act has made me swoon and realise he's very amazing, sexy and I love him being in my life so I want to keep him!

Any tips?

TheNaze73 Wed 11-Jan-17 12:17:29

Just keep communicating & keeping him in the loop with your thoughts & feelings.
As long as he understands the reasons, if he's truly In to you, all should come good

WannaBe Wed 11-Jan-17 12:29:24

Communication is key. If he's genuinely a decent bloke he'll understand, but you do need to communicate with him about how you're feeling.

Have recently been through similar Been in hospital with serious illness and when I came out I couldn't bear to have anyone near me at all. Not even a hug or anything like that let alone anything intimate. it confused my DP in the beginning because I am usually a very affectionate person, although he never said anything, but then I explained to him that I'd spent weeks being poked and prodded and having to give blood and have procedures and had permanent cannulas in my arm etc that once I was discharged my body felt like my own again and I couldn't bear to be near anyone.

It actually took a couple of months for me to gradually get back to being me again. Just take small steps. If you're not up to sex will you hold hands? Cuddle? Then lead on to other things as your confidence and desire increase.

BumDNC Wed 11-Jan-17 12:42:43

We are very close and talk every day, we cuddle and I always initiate holding hands or cuddling even if we just watch TV.
I can't have sex even if I wanted to. I just feel like I am a really rubbish girlfriend!

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