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WWYD? Can't get over cheating.

(10 Posts)
OrganisedChaos24 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:16:49

I've been with my partner 7.5 years we have four children. I have anxiety disorder and a history of depression which of late is very current.

When our first baby was 6 weeks old I was diagnosed with PND. I also found out my partner had been cheating. He denies it all.

There was sexts on his phone, missed calls, especially when he was "on a night out" and when I asked him to stop talking to her and delete her number he lied. He told me he wasn't speaking to her anymore when I still found texts and calls from her.

It eventually subsided partly because his phone broke and ended up with a new number and had no other way to contact her.

Being the emotional wreck I was and suffering from mental health issues I forgave him straight away no arguments and did everything I could to keep him happy and please him as I Blamed myself.

Fast forward a few months, he starts talking to another girl at work and asks me if they can swap numbers he thought he should ask because "I might not like it" given the past situation. I obviously told him no i couldnt trust him. I was still having panic attacks when he would go on a night out.

I didnt want to be on my own and i was overwhelmed with fear so i stayed still and we "worked through it"

Fast forward again to my third baby, while pregnant i found saved pictures from websites (iykwim) which he thought wasnt a problem and like the cheating i was told to get over it.

Fast forward to now and despite it being several years and much hard work i still cant get over it all. I am unable to talk about it with him he dismisses it as being in the past and over and done with.

user1477054316 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:36:06

So sorry for your situation. Of course your not over it, he's never helped you come to terms with it because he's continued to lie, deny and disregard your feelings. Your now left shattered and in an emotionally and mentally fragile way. I'm so sorry it seems he's never going to change. I don't think you would be more hurt and lonely if you was to leave him. The only way would be upwards. You and your children, no man bringing you down and causing you to worry and get so, so anxious. This is your life, your worth more. I hope you can find the strength to leave him because it seems that your life would be so much better on your own. Take care

InTheMiddle92 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:41:07

Excuse the namechange! And thank-you for your kind words. I am constantly thinking about leaving I now feel I have the confidence to do so. He's a good dad, but hasn't been the best partner, given reasons above his xbox also seems more important than me some days and he doesn't understand my mental health issues he thinks I should "just be happy" and not miserable and grumpy. I do everything for him and the children, he works but as soon as he's home everything is done for him. I've stayed because I love him and I thought I couldn't cope on my own, but now I think differently and although he's trying to be a good partner now I feel it's too little too late. I'm not very good at making decisions even little ones so deciding to leave is weighing heavily on my mind. It doesn't help I have to see the other woman most mornings as she has children at my daughters school and it still makes me feel sick seeing her. I just want to be happy now.

Frankelly66 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:50:32

One of my friends was with a huge douche bag, always cheating, mucking her around etc. I couldn't stand it but eventually she saw the light (on her own, we gave up on advising her) and her life is so amazing now. It's so beautiful to watch her be so happy!

Frankelly66 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:50:47

So I wish the same outcome for you!

Mrsjudelaw66 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:54:17

Oh God why have you kept having children with him??!!

Mrsjudelaw66 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:55:00

Pregnancies and babies aren't great news for anxiety and depression either.

InTheMiddle92 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:55:19

Thankyou that's lovely to hear. I just wish it all never happened I don't want to lose him but I can't cope with this anymore and I'm so tired of feeling lonely and unhappy I feel taken for granted

InTheMiddle92 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:56:07

No I know. Two weren't planned I was on the pill and took it religiously. And because I loved him and wanted a family and thought I could ignore all the wrong doings.

InTheMiddle92 Wed 11-Jan-17 07:57:19

I was ignorant I know that and I love my children more than anything. I just wanted to have a happy family so I chose to ignore what he did and he does try really hard now he's had some amazing moments just they're overshadowed by the bad ones.

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