The situation...ds, just turned 2 gets hold of biro and draws small barely noticeable line on new sofa. DH goes mental, smacks ds on the hand and goes off on one about what a waste of fucking money, why do I fucking bother. He knows I hate swearing in front of the kids. I tell him he's behaving badly, he says oh and you're fucking amazing why should you care you don't have to earn any fucking money or pay for anything (I'm a sahm to our 3 boys,6,4 and 2). I get up the following morning to find him playing in the lounge with 2 oldest boys, not letting youngest in the room. Am I overreacting to be thinking about leaving?
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SadTrombone ·
10/01/2017 23:15
Can't tell if you're overreacting to be thinking of leaving without more background really.
What I can tell you though is that he is hugely overreacting and, to be perfectly frank, acting like a complete dickhead.
If I were in your shoes I'd try and sit him down asap and ask what the fuck he is playing at in terms of:
Overreacting massively with your 2YO
Subsequently excluding 2YO - a further overreaction and frankly cruel
And, arguably most importantly, belittling you and the incredibly difficult job you have of raising and looking after 3 young children. This is potentially very telling in terms of his general attitude towards you and a lack of respect.
Is this a one off, OP, or has he acted in a similarly dickish way before?
keepingonrunning ·
10/01/2017 23:45
He is aggressive, verbally abusive and a frightening role model for your DSs. You are also on the first rungs of the ladder to increasing abuse over time, now that he is intimidating the whole family so he has control of all of you. The future will be about walking on eggshells and chronic anxiety to make sure you do not displease him. But you inevitably will because no matter how hard you try, he will deliberately find things to blame you and the DC for, just to keep you in line.
Please watch the animated Freedom Programme films on YouTube describing what you should and should not expect in a relationship. I'm sorry to say your 'D'H's behaviour will likely get worse. Do you want your DC to grow up in a calm, respectful, loving home or one where there is constant conflict and aggression and everyone is afraid of upsetting the big bully called dad?
Phone Women's Aid (24 hours) to find out how to leave and safely. 0808 2000 247, lines are quietest 7pm-7am. And when you are free and no longer feeling dread, get yourself on The Freedom Programme
Children's early years experiences affect their brain development Your 'D'H is affecting your DCs emotional development and setting them up for a life of anxiety, anger and aggression, just like him. I doubt you want that for them.
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