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No body confidence

(16 Posts)
user1483809827 Tue 10-Jan-17 18:08:13

Been seeing a guy on tinder and I think I'm going to have to call it a day because I can't bear the thought of being naked with him.

I hate my body. I have huge hips, a flabby belly and wonky boobs. He on the other hand is a fitness freak with a great body.

What do I do?

SadTrombone Tue 10-Jan-17 18:16:35

Presumably he knows what you look like (clothed that is!) - are your photos on Tinder an accurate representation ie not old / filtered / ridiculously flattering angle (all guilty of this one time or another I'm sure!!)?

He swiped right presumably because he finds you attractive and kept talking because he finds you interesting... would be a shame to drop it all based on body confidence issues (which - again - everyone has likely experienced at one time or another.)

I speak as a 6 foot, 20 stone woman who has managed to overcome body confidence issues in the bedroom!)

SadTrombone Tue 10-Jan-17 18:17:32

Ps nobody's boobs are symmetrical either!!xx

user1483809827 Tue 10-Jan-17 18:21:20

Yeah we've had 2 dates and he keeps reassuring me that he finds me attractive but I dress in a way that hides my flaws.

My boobs are that bad that I'm having surgery in a couple of months sad

statetrooperstacey Tue 10-Jan-17 18:21:28

I think you probably need to get some perspective! Presumably he fancies you if he is dating you? Also if you are say a size 16/18 he can probably tell you will not become a perfect size 8 as soon as you are naked. Perhaps your hips are not as large as you think, or prrhaps they are and he likes large hips?! I would guess he likes large hips, likes any kind of boobs he's allowed to touch and doesn't care about a squishy tummy! Just wear nice underwear and dim the lights.just because you dont think you are attractive doesn't mean he won't, best luck!

SadTrombone Tue 10-Jan-17 18:28:20

^nice underwear and dimmed lights - absolutely

You can dress as flattering as you like but he can still see what body shape you have!

If you fancy him and want to have sex with him don't let body confidence issues get in the way - at the end of the day what have you got to lose. Things will either fizzle out after you DTD (as with many OLD type encounters) or you will keep seeing him, and keep having sex!

user1483809827 Tue 10-Jan-17 18:39:52

That's true, clothes can't make a 14 look like a 10 can they. I am trying to lose weight but I didn't expect to be getting naked any time soon so I wasn't in any rush.

He's so confident in his body which intimidates me a bit!

TheNaze73 Tue 10-Jan-17 19:26:54

I think you're overthinking it OP. He must have an idea of what you look like & wouldn't be with you, if you weren't up his straße

SadTrombone Tue 10-Jan-17 19:37:25

Go for it OP. Expect you to report back with details on your progress grinwinkflowers

ChillDad1975 Tue 10-Jan-17 19:41:32

Hello
You have met each other and he's trying to reassure you that he finds you attractive. I can assure you anxiety is a two way street. He will have his own issues, everyone does, I promise you that. He will have his own concerns and insecurities no matter how fit he is :-). I think that you should just try to relax in each other's company and try not to over complicate things and take it at your pace. When you feels it getting a bit much take a deep breath, move forward. Most of all enjoy yourself - Good Luck :-)

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Tue 10-Jan-17 19:42:54

a lot of athletic macho men like a larger womanly body.

EmmaC78 Tue 10-Jan-17 19:46:10

I am sure you look fine OP and agree that you are probably overthinking it. I think most females tend to do that and think all men are looking for women that have perfect figures. It sounds like he likes you.

bert3400 Tue 10-Jan-17 19:57:29

Women worry way more about thier bodies than men do . So many men like curves & softness & wobbley bits . If this guy doesn't like all of you then he's not the right guy , but don't make the decision for him. Give him the chance, but make sure you feel confident . Good underwear is great ..even if he doesn't get to see it you will feel better about yourself .

rosabug Tue 10-Jan-17 20:06:39

Believe it or not, not all men are cliche in response to women's bodies. Quite a few like women in any shape or size. I know, I've met some the year I was dating (I'm 55, 52 at the time). It's likely he's one of these guys or else he would not want to take it further. In the beginning I would do the underwear light thing, by the end I didn't give a damn (well nearly) and I enjoyed it a lot more. You might find underneath it all he lacks confidence and prefers a more ordinary shape, feels more comfortable. I quite like slightly chunky men for the same reason.

TokenGinger Tue 10-Jan-17 23:16:31

OP, just a side note. I, too, had surgery for wonky boobs. I had a good 3 sizes difference in my boobs. I'm assuming you saying wonky means size difference - apologies if not.

PM me if there's anything you want me to do - it did wonders for my body confidence. I also used to be a size 14-16 and am now a size 10. If you're unhappy, you have the power to change it. However, be comfortable in the knowledge he's seen you and likes you xx

reggaesongbird Tue 10-Jan-17 23:25:28

I'm not slim, big belly and bum, saggy empty boobs from breastfeeding and no man has appeared to find this a problem, they seem to want to come back for more...im very unhappy with how my health and pregnancies etc have changed my body but I never tell guys. I walk around naked in front of them, not all the time but you know, when it's in and out of bed/ bathroom and I don't bother trying to disguise the obvious.
I love wearing sexy or flattering underwear but not all the time.
just enjoy the sexy times and enjoy having a hot fit guy to lust over, don't ask him for reassurance, just let yourself go.

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