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Are all military, ex military men completely nuts

(57 Posts)
Blueglass Thu 22-Feb-07 13:04:47

My DH is ex mil and everybody i talk to who has had a h or p in the mil has had some sort of problems.

Mine is not all there either and we are having problems now.

Just not sure how to get around this

mum2sam Thu 22-Feb-07 13:49:49

whats a h or p?

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 22-Feb-07 13:52:56

I would have thought husband or partner.

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 22-Feb-07 13:53:36

SSAFA can help families of service personal even if they are no longer in the military.

saltire Thu 22-Feb-07 13:55:32

SSAFA can help, or RAF/Army/Navy benevolent funds.
Try those or can i suggest counselling, especially if he did Kosovo, Bosnia or the Gulf, either last time round or recently

Blueglass Thu 22-Feb-07 13:57:56

Not recently but there is that typical unsettled behaviour in him and just sheer weiredness.

Lots of people i know who have married military men have had very unsettled marriages

littlelapin Thu 22-Feb-07 14:00:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blueglass Thu 22-Feb-07 14:02:31

I was a mil wife for a couple of years and the sights to be seen on camp were something else.

The cheating that went on was something else too.

Very feww marriages were happy from what i saw

littlelapin Thu 22-Feb-07 14:05:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saltire Thu 22-Feb-07 14:21:37

My friends DH was in Bosnia and Kosovo, he still has nightmares about what he saw. It can affect them years later. I also think it is a bit of a sweeping generalisation about all Forces marriages being unsettled

suedonim Thu 22-Feb-07 15:26:15

Dh was in the Senior Service and we've been married over 30yrs. Only one of his comtemporaries has divorced afaik, and even he has been married a second time for many, many years.

Frizbe Thu 22-Feb-07 15:30:25

Well two of my ex bf's were military and both of them went loop da loop when they came out......2nd one receiving lots of post traumatic stress therapy still......1st one ended up re joining ta, 9 years after leaving full time army as needed the lifestyle like a drug odd eh, I guess you either like it or you don't?

FluffyMummy123 Thu 22-Feb-07 15:31:05

Message withdrawn

Sakura Fri 23-Feb-07 01:08:22

I`m from a "military" family, where a lot of uncles and cousins are in/ have been in the military. I can say, that these people are very aggressive behaving, and like shouting a lot and generally making their presence known. Its like they were important in the army, and can`t stand being just another civillian on "civvy street". I`m sure they suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. (Gulf, Faulklands(sp?) and Iraq)
But I can`T tell if they went in the army because they are like that, or if they are like that because they went in the army.They are all divorced. Of course you can`t generalise, because many military families have great marriages, but this is what I`ve seen

Califrau Fri 23-Feb-07 01:41:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiredemma Fri 23-Feb-07 07:27:47

Im on a mental health placement at the moment. Sadly, many of the men on my placement are ex forces- suffering from PTSD, severe depression and Gulf war syndrome.

Many are now single, living alone in either grotty council flats or worse hostels.

Bloody shame. Lovely men with horrific stories.

GinGirl Fri 23-Feb-07 13:39:46

No, and I think its a sweeping generalisation to say otherwise.
My DH is ex-Air Force and isn't 'nuts'. Yes he's seen some things that civillians would never come across but those experiences have made him who he is today, a loving, loyal husband.
We have lots of forces friends, most of whom are happily married. Couples have problems, but everybody does, not just people with a military background.

ura21 Sat 24-Feb-07 20:39:36

now i hate to say this as it's another generalisaion, but i think (from my experience) that the army are worse, raf and navy guys i know are more stable. think army is more insitutionalised, and therefore those who leave are more lost without it. my dh is raf and totally lovely and well balanced!

SHOSHanniegetyourgun Sat 24-Feb-07 20:46:32

Married to a very stable fantastic army guy and have a vERY happy marriage after being married to a wanker of a civvie, so goes both ways.

Skyler Sat 24-Feb-07 20:49:37

My DH is RAF and he is lovely, gentle and kind. But he hasn't seen some of the horrors others have had to.

RubyRioja Sat 24-Feb-07 20:50:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

northerner Sat 24-Feb-07 20:50:52

My friends ex h is ex army and a total wanker. But then he could just be a wanker any way regardless of his profession.

Surfermum Sat 24-Feb-07 21:01:16

My dh is ex navy, who fought in the Falklands, nearly died and was badly burnt.

Yes, he's been affected by his experiences and has been diagnosed with PTSD. But the only time I really notice any difference in him is around the anniversary of war and the sinking of his ship, if there's a sudden loud bang that he's not expecting, or something unexpectedly reminds him of what happened.

Other than that he's a lovely, stable, "normal" bloke and a fantastic Dad.

When you say "not all there" what do you mean?

Scootergirl Sat 24-Feb-07 21:04:11

Most of them are just normal men who have to go through and see dreadful things - missing the births of their children and them growing up right up to the truly horrible things you see in conflict areas.
Some of them deal with it and some of them don't.
On a personal level, DH is the army atm and is still perfectly sane.... as far as I'm aware

Flossam Sat 24-Feb-07 21:16:14

Not quite what I think the thread was getting at, but my father was in the navy and he is a prize case tosser.

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