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Is DH guilty of more than he is admitting to

(5 Posts)
TaylorP1234 Mon 09-Jan-17 19:21:40

Ok I'm going to keep this short my question is do you think my husband is telling the whole truth. Been married 25 years perfect husband and father then few years ago he gets a new job starts socialising with clients etc then 2 years ago I notice him changing. All came to a head 10 months ago had caught him telling lies and basically he says it was all about getting drunk taking drugs going to strip Clubs and generally just not being interested in home at all!! Now that's what he has admitted to but he says when he went to the strip club he didn't have a lap dance but the colleagues he was with he can't remember!! Says he only took the drugs a couple of times!! And he was lying because he didn't want to upset me! Also odd blank message from woman colleague he says can't remember what it was he says he doesn't have 2 words to say to this girl! Then 5 min conversation with same girl when he was out one night really drunk I couldn't even have a conversation with him when he called me as he was incoherent! So I send his phone away to see if I can retrieve any deleted messages. Nothing much apart from a 2am message to same girl couldn't get the context of the message though! And another message from her saying she was on holiday ATM and will call him when she gets back!! Odd emails from work colleagues they he can't explain etc!!

BratFarrarsPony Mon 09-Jan-17 19:23:34

well...what do you think?

ParrotPudding Mon 09-Jan-17 19:25:16

I think your answer is in the fact that you actually sent his phone away to be checked. There is no trust.
Are drug taking, strip clubs, getting s9 drunk he can't talk and/or even remember his actions not a deal breaker for you?

Patriciathestripper1 Mon 09-Jan-17 19:34:23

I think you know there is more to this op.
Drug taking and visiting strip Clubs?
You Don't need to be brain if Britain to work out what was going, which is probably why you sent his phone away in the first place.
And saying he was drunk and 'can't remember' is a pathetic cop out for appallingly behaviour.

TaylorP1234 Mon 09-Jan-17 19:56:05

The worst thing about all this is that it all started in the December and then in May my neice passed away and then in July my nephew (who was like a son to me) passed away! To be honest I really didn't deal with his lying shit in the right way as my mind was all over the place and I wasn't really myself so I sort of let him get away with it because firstly I couldn't believe it was happening and secondly I couldn't deal with it! So now for the last 10 months since he got totally pissed and nearly got sacked from his job he has 100% gone back to how he always used to be! I totally think there is more to the story and to be honest I'm totally numb to all of it it just so unreal that a person can go from loving and caring and so absolutely devoted to his family and then do all that!! I've asked him time and time again to tell me the truth but he insists there is no more to be told. But the bastard goes silent which makes me think he don't want to talk about it!! What would you do to get to the truth? Honestly I couldn't give a shit if he said he had an affair but I'd rather know

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