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Relationship Advice

(7 Posts)
Dcdc1982 Mon 09-Jan-17 16:55:52


My name is Daniel, I'm 34. I'm in a relationship with someone. She is 30 years of age. We have been together for 3 years but for some time now I have been unhappy. I cant put my finger on what it is. Sometimes I'm happy with her, but I don't think the spark is there anymore?

My worry is that I want children. I suppose I always wanted children in my early 30's and I wanted to be having my last child around now. I always thought that life would turn out differently for me. If I was to split up with my girlfriend, I wouldn't mind meeting someone with a child already (as a father figure isn't necessarily a biological dad) but ideally I would want one of my own and I'm worrying/obsess that I will be to old.

I know I'm not old now. I get that, its later on in life I think/worry about. I suppose looking at my parents they have now seen their children grow up and having children (grandchildren from my brother). They had children when they were 30/31 and 32/33. I want to see my children grow up, I want to be there for them like my mum and dad are for me, like there mum and dad were for them...I guessed I always inspired to be like them too.

Is there anyone out there that are in a similar situation to me? Do I force myself to feel happy? Stay in the relationship I'm in with the girl that loves me very much or do I continue my search for "the one"?

Reposts on here would be great but anyone who has been in my situation that I can speak to who has been through the worry would be a massive help...

UnbornMortificado Mon 09-Jan-17 16:57:08

Does your partner not want children?

Dcdc1982 Mon 09-Jan-17 16:58:49

Yes she does.

Icky871 Mon 09-Jan-17 17:13:55

I'd make sure it's not you who is just unhappy not the relationship

UnbornMortificado Mon 09-Jan-17 17:17:48

I've misunderstood I was reading it as that was why your unhappy in the relationship.

You need to speak to her about it.

WildBelle Mon 09-Jan-17 17:24:09

If you don't think the relationship is right, bail out now. Much better to do that than have children with your gf and then leave her years later as a single parent. And I say that as a single parent. It's not fair on you, her, or any potential children.

It might not be how you hoped things would turn out, timescale wise, but you do still have plenty of time. Most of my male friends didn't start having kids until their mid/late thirties, or forties.

rosabug Mon 09-Jan-17 19:35:19

Whatever happens you should understand this - there is no such thing as 'the one'.

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