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Stay or go

(7 Posts)
Ladybird1979 Mon 09-Jan-17 08:14:24

Due to give birth in a month. Been in rocky relationship for the whole pregnancy. It's exhausting but in true soap opera style 'I love him.'
He was unsupportive when I found out I was expecting which led to many arguments and him leaving. Few months later I begged him to come back and he did.
He admits he feels absolutely nothing for his unborn baby and if he left tomorrow he admits again he wouldn't feel anything.
As much as I want him here I feel like I have no confidence anymore and never would want a relationship again.
Shall I tell him to go now or wait to see if he forms a bond with his baby?

darknessontheedgeoftown Mon 09-Jan-17 08:20:52

I would tell him in no uncertain terms to clear off and if he wants a relationship with his child he will need to show some emotional responsibility, whether or not he is with you. You say you don't want a relationship again but you will have one. With your child. Outside that, you can do or not do whatever you want but I don't think it is fair to the child to enter the world with a compromised situation. I wonder would you be together if you hadn't got pregnant?

Cricrichan Mon 09-Jan-17 09:34:10

What a shitty thing to say, even if he felt like that!

I think it's more stressful having this negative person in your life than being on your own. I'd ask him to leave and then when the baby is born, he and you can see how he gets on. Don't let him spoil this special time of your life.

TwitterQueen1 Mon 09-Jan-17 09:38:10

So you love someone who hasn't wanted the baby right from the start, has been totally unsupportive, has already left you once, and has expressly said he feels nothing for the child.

Why do you love this man? Of course you should tell him to go. Relationships are supposed to add to your health, happiness and wellbeing. Not destroy them.

MatildaTheCat Mon 09-Jan-17 09:44:52

Finish it now before the maelstrom of birth hormones make this ugly situation even uglier. He's a prick and he won't improve.

Build up a strong support group and focus on the birth and next few months. He will add nothing but pain. Sorry, but please listen.

If you take control and end things at least you know exactly where you stand.

TheNaze73 Mon 09-Jan-17 16:18:52

I think you should end it too. He's been honest, which is more you can say for some but, could've been more empathetic in his wording

Ladybird1979 Fri 13-Jan-17 21:27:19

Well I didn't end it hence going offline. I tried for another week to make it work.

Things were going ok i thought. I met a friend he does not like today and when I returned home I could tell he was annoyed.

On the way to my 36 week scan he said he's leaving. He's gone now. So guess that's the decision made.

I'm the reason he's shunned by his friends (tbf I don't like 2 of them 1 is a user the other racist) but he still sees them regularly I just don't go so don't feel that's true.

My personality is flawed I can be hot headed and I speak before I think such is never good. I try and be a kind person but I do mess up.

Anyway he's gone now so me baby and my beautiful 7 year old are on our own.

I'm very scared and upset I really thought he'd be there to hold my hand. But I must not give up.

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