Any psychology experts would be fab, otherwise anyone who has an opinion on the matter:
I'm currently having some counselling/CBT with an excellent counsellor who has helped me tremendous amounts. That's until very recently. I've become a little low by something they keep preaching to me, as I just don't get it.
He says that we have control over our thoughts. Yes perfectly reasonable. I get this. However, he also keeps telling me and giving me material which states that thoughts also govern our feelings.
I've felt a lot of resentment towards DH over recent weeks due to his busy lifestyle choices whilst I've been going through a very close bereavement. My counsellor keeps asking me to put myself in his shoes and to try to think more positively about his actions. It's due to the high standards and demands that he places on himself that he does this.
But, regardless of what I try to think, I can't help but feel completely resentful towards him. It's not that I'm thinking negative thoughts but more a feeling that sweeps over me that makes me not want to be anywhere near him when I'm feeling let down.
I feel like I'm constantly failing at this "try to control your thoughts to control your feelings" thing. Surely, we feel how we feel and there's not a lot we can do about it, other than compare our feelings with the facts and then try to be constructive?
To me I feel neglected, the facts are that he's busy and not around much to lighten the load. How can I then control my thoughts on the matter to be more positive? Finding it very hard work and beating myself up for not quite getting it.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Which comes first? The feeling or the thought?
pumbarumba · 08/01/2017 20:28
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.