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Feel bizarrely sad after another mn thread

(10 Posts)
cherrycrumblecustard Sat 07-Jan-17 21:59:27

I know this is a stupid thread but the one about 18th birthdays just kind of made me sad. I did nothing for any of these. No one apart from DH celebrated them with me bought me anything I don't think I even got cards. My mum died and my dad went peculiar.

Sorry I know it's stupid!

hesterton Sat 07-Jan-17 22:04:45

It's not stupid. You're right, it is sad. Can you make up for it? Have an 18th whatever your age! Organise a lovely day for yourself and only invite people you care about, and who care about you. Do the same in a few months for your 21st. Don't let the sadness linger. flowers

Happy 18th. cakewine

Manumission Sat 07-Jan-17 22:05:54

I have a ridiculous record for illness, heavy pregnancy or sad events coinciding with my 'major' birthdays. Even my 40th, not so very long ago, which I had planned to make a big thing of got overshadowed by something awful and much more important so I downscaled that to extremely low-key. So I really do sympathise.

But there will be more. Or you can decide to make a big deal out of a quirky one like your 27th, your 42nd (actually 42 is a good one) or even your 33.3rd.

Big birthday parties and "stuff" aren't what life is really made of anyway.

Sorry about your parents. I hope your DH is a good 'un flowers

cherrycrumblecustard Sat 07-Jan-17 22:08:28

Thanks! Daft thread ... I don't think I have ever minded even. I think I'm really saying I don't feel loved. My children will smile

herwegoagain123 Sun 08-Jan-17 15:49:04

I didn't have an 18th or a 21st then my mum died when I was 30. I never felt neglected because I didn't have a party. She had loved me in all sorts of small ways such as bringing us up on her own.
At 40 I had a massive party which was awesome which I arranged myself.
Have empathy for your parents struggles.

mrswhiplington Sun 08-Jan-17 16:42:02

Never had an 18th or 21st, barely had any friends then. Went out for meal with friends for joint 30th, gave birth 2 weeks after 40th so no partying there! Had a very quiet 50th with DH, DD and family. But I've had some wonderful times inbetween.grin Holidays, nights out, lots of great memories. Don't feel too sad about 'big birthdays', there's still lots of time to enjoy life.

UndividedIndifference Sun 08-Jan-17 16:50:41

My dad died 6 days before my 18th birthday and his funeral was the day before my 18th. I've hated my birthday every year since. My mum had a big 18th birthday party for me but my heart wasn't in it (she'd planned it before his death, they were divorced). I did appreciate it but just got stupidly drunk to numb the pain of grief.

How about celebrating your half birthday instead? We quite often do something special in the middle of July for my half birthday because I don't have the sad association with my dad's death attached to it (plus dad always made a fuss of my half birthdays and had a BBQ for me every July so my husband and now my son too, have carried that on despite me not meeting him until 8yrs after my dad died).

Poppiesway Sun 08-Jan-17 16:53:08

for my 18th birthday my "friends" were to busy to go out in my 18th, my 21st I was pregnant with ds1 (can't remember exdp doing anything special for me). On my 30th ds2 walked for the first time (I was still bf so no birthday drink) this summer it's my 40th and as it's just me and my dc now we're celebrating all year grin
I was feeling miserable about turning 40 but have made a bucket list to do this year with the dc.

DanGleballs Sun 08-Jan-17 20:04:06

At 18 I was pregnant, planned! My DF had died a few years before and my life went into meltdown.

My 30th was spent in the rain in a freezing cold field watching my DD doing her first and last cross country run.

My 40th was a meal out with my family. My sister decided that moment to tell me how much of a crap fucked up sister I was. I cried and got extremely drunk.

Really looking forward to my 50th!hmm

Maudlinmaud Sun 08-Jan-17 20:08:20

Ah op, sorry it made you feel sad. Happy belated birthdays cake
I am not a fan of my birthday and shy away from celebrating it, I'm adopted so I have these feelings connected with it. But I celebrate 364 other days a year smile

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