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A "Distant" Friend

(5 Posts)
CatBallou2 Sat 07-Jan-17 17:17:04

When my LT relationship ended last year, I was naturally a wreck and retreated into myself a little. After 3 months, I emailed a DF of mine, who lives in another country, to tell her what had happened. She emailed me back pretty quickly, which is unusual for her and I was glad of this. We sent a few emails back and forth in the same day, then that was that. FYI mine was the last email sent. Before this, we used to email every few weeks, so regular contact was unusual. I continued to get through some really dark days, you know the routine, but DF didn't contact me again for 5 months. I haven't replied to this email, which was sent 4 months ago, as I was very upset by her lack of contact. We were good friends when we lived in the same country, not in each other's pockets, but met fairly regularly for coffee, shopping, classes, etc. I'm not the type to expect too much from people, but I thought that a real DF would have contacted me a little more often to see how I was doing.

When I discussed this with my counsellor, she told me, and I don't remember her exact words, that I won't always get what I want from people, (I'm an adult, I do know this), and that I should basically suck-it-up. Now, I'm very open to considering people's views, but on this occasion, I just can't decide if I'm wrong to cut contact with DF or not.

I'd like to know what you think.

Butterfly2017 Sat 07-Jan-17 17:26:03

Have you considered speaking to your friend about it?

CatBallou2 Sat 07-Jan-17 17:32:37

No, I haven't, because I was so disappointed and didn't want to think about it. It's only this week that I've really started to wonder if my reaction is wrong. I'll give it some thought. Thanks Butterfly.

EvaSthlm Sat 07-Jan-17 17:34:56

Yes, write her again. She might have forgotten that it's "her turn" (if it is) and is equally upset with you not writing back to her, thinking that her email was the last one. Write something saying you're sorry you lost touch, that you have had a difficult time, but would be glad to hear from her.

Ilovecaindingle Sat 07-Jan-17 17:41:03

Maybe they also have stuff going on and although they initially tried to be there for you more often they had - they realised that actually they can't offer more than the amount of contact you originally had. Sorry things haven't been good for you lately.
Maybe a light hearted good wishes for the new year message and leave it up to them after that?

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