A child maintenance question

[honeyroar]

At what age does a father stop paying child maintenance?

[RNBrie]

When they stop being in full time education - generally.

[BobbieDog]

The month before the adult turns 20 years old.

This is only if they are in full time education or on an apprenticeship.

If they go to university then it stops automatically.

The easiest way to look at it is if you are still entitled to claim child benefit then maintenance is still to be paid. As soon as your entilement to child benefit stops then so does the maintenance.

[RNBrie]

[kittybiscuits]

Through CMS it stops being paid at end of August in last academic year of education/further education, and not beyond 20th birthday. So an extra year in sixth form for instance, maintenance is payable if child is 18/19. But in a divorce settlement provision can be made until the child completes uni.

[honeyroar]

This is re my stepson. Husband can't remember what his divorce settlement said, but he thinks it was to the end of full time education. The "child" is 19, finished A levels last summer, didn't get into uni he wanted, so took a year out and will be going in September. Child went abroad for three months after leaving school visiting relatives and doing a bit of light work for his relative. Came home before Xmas and said he'd get a job, but is basically faffing about. I've asked when we were all in the local cinema and local restaurants whether they had any jobs, and they did, but he didn't fancy that and thought he may go abroad again, but hasn't. Currently doing a bit of house sitting. His mother is demanding child support continues, but we think if he isn't at uni he should be working and paying board. We will happily contribute once he's at uni, but don't feel like we should be paying his mother while he could be working. She's asking for the money for him for the time he was out of the country too.

[Manumission]

A court-agreed settlement trumps CMS rules. He needs to find his copy.

[BobbieDog]

I would stop the payaments now.

I cannot see a court agreement being until past 19 or whilst the person is not in full time education.

She would have to take you back to court to enforce the maintenance which would be unlikely as the court would see it as unreasonable to expect an adult to sit on their backside whilst receiving money from their parents.

[honeyroar]

We stopped the payments in September when he went abroad. His mother has just rung asking for the past three months money.

I'm frustrated with my ss anyway, he needs to get off his backside and do something, even if only for the sake of his CV. He could have done so much with this year. His mum's family are very well off, and she's always worked for her dad, earned more than she would from anyone else, and had her debts paid off for her. Not that that is anything to do with us, but we've always tried to be the side of the family that pulls him up and teaches him at life isn't just a hand out. Hope we don't sound mean, we do as much as we can for him, have him stay as often as we can, and he has always had a room, toys, and full wardrobe here too. He's just had a few hundred pounds from us for his birthday and Xmas.

[BobbieDog]

Bollocks would i re instate the maintenance!

[honeyroar]

Just found his settlement, it says payment until the child is 18 or ceases full time education, whichever is the latter. It's not a court settlement, it was a personal agreement, but is written in the details on a solicitors letter. Does that mean we still pay his mother while he's at uni? And now, while he isn't in education or employment. We'd always intended to just pay him while he was at uni.

[BobbieDog]

Well that means you are not liable for maintenance and i would ask her to re emburse you for the months you have paid when he wasnt in education past the age of 18.

[pinkbraces]

My ex stopped paying maintenance when my DD went to uni. He then paid DD directly. Worked well for us.

[honeyroar]

Thanks, thats what we were thinking. We paid until the end of August, so just after he finished school, nothing to reimburse. We just don't want to pay anymore until he's studying again. He needs to pay his way himself a bit this year IMO.

[GreenGoblin0]

you don't need to pay the mum when he is at uni as ft education is generally ft further education and not higher. in any case if it's not court ordered then it's not enforceable by the courts.

[debbs77]

This must be such a tricky situation! As surely it doesn't suddenly fall to the resident parent to pay? Because their child doesn't get a job? Must be very frustrating for both parents!

[WeeMcBeastie]

My court order was completed recently and end of full time education meant school and not university. My oldest is 18 and the maintenance will stop for her in August this year. I was advised to use the same dates as child benefit which stops on the first Monday of the September after the end of her A levels so just before she starts uni. You shouldn't have to pay any more.

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

DSD had a year off between college and uni. DH stopped paying for that year and instructed her to pay a sensible amount of rent to her DM from her earnings, we didn't ask her to pay for the 50% of time she still chose to spend with us, so it was quite do-able for DSD. DH then paid DSD maintenance directly once she was at uni and told her DM to arrange any rent she needed from DSD directly with her as she was now an adult. I think we discovered legally that under his agreement he wasn't obliged to pay after she had stepped out of full-time ed. but felt it was the right thing to do. He did make it clear that he wasn't going to continue for a post-grad course though.

[honeyroar]

Debbs, technically she isn't the resident parent either anymore. He lives with her dad, whose wife died last summer, to keep him company. If anything it's her and her family that are holding him back from getting a job, they always have. Every weekend/holiday job he's had has been for her dad, the three months abroad were working for her brother, now he's house sitting for her dad. In my opinion they need to push him out of the nest and make him fly, not take the easy option. That's exactly what she's done with her life, stayed in the family business and not done anything. Life's just too easy, you don't have to do anything else.. He's been adorable for the first ten years I knew him, but he's getting lazy and entitled now. I work away and his dad was ill, we have horses and dogs, he didn't dream of offering to help out, despite not working and living in the same village. It's starting to irritate me a lot. (But I'm going off topic!)

[debbs77]

Ah I see! Difficult situation!

[Starlight2345]

I find these thread odd.Legally you may not have to pay, Do you think it is fair RP takes all the costs. If he is receiving JSA it certainly won't cover the cost of the child living there..

[honeyroar]

Yes Starlight when RP (who isn't really RP anymore) is practically encouraging the child to faff around rather than work. She should be putting a rocket up his backside telling him to get a job, not let him do silly jobs for his grandad. But that's what her family do, grandad is the millionaire who they will inherit from and that's who life revolves around. It was like that when my husband was married to her. Even he had to change his job and work for the family firm. Him deciding to leave was one of the reasons they split up (that and his wife running off with another man shortly afterwards).

And as mentioned in my above post, the child was abroad for most of what she's claiming. She wasn't buying food or anything..

[scottishjo]

In my experience children abroad still need a lot of support, financial and otherwise. And sending kids to uni costs a frigging fortune. I would have thought your husband would want to continue to support his son.

"She should be putting a rocket up his backside telling him to get a job, not let him do silly jobs for his grandad."

Wow. You sound like a wonderful SM. What a lucky boy he is.

[Champers4Pampers]

He's not a child, he's 19. The agreement says if he's until he's 18 or in FT education.

The OP is not being unsupportive or saying that they wouldn't support him if he goes to uni. just that they don't want to encourage him to sit around and do nothing.

[honeyroar]

Thanks Champers.

Scottishjo, so you think it's good for a clever child with a bright future to spend their gap year unemployed, with a huge hole on their cv? That it's right for children to not put any effort into getting a job, but to just hang around waiting for handouts? I don't. And it might take a lot of money and support for a "child" to go abroad, but I went abroad for a year at 20, I funded myself and was paid while I was there. I have friend's kids that are younger than him and working hard at Saturday jobs in order to finance things they want to do. It's normal if you've not got loaded parents. I think this may be an issue here, one side of the family having much more money while the other has to work for things?

And I have been a good stepmum to him for years. I love him very much, I'm very proud of him, but I also see the negatives in him, probably quicker than my husband does, and will pull him up for things. And I'd like to think that he loves and respects me for it, most of the time!

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

I think you have a good perspective on this honeyroar. It does no one any good in the long run to be so bound by family ties that they don't develop their financial independence. But you can only do so much in your position.