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My boys. their dad and his family. Concerned.

(5 Posts)
bananasmoothie Wed 21-Feb-07 17:19:07

I'll try and give a quick re-cap...

I have 2 boys aged 8 and 6, me and their dad split up 2 and a half years ago, we're both with new partners, he lives with his girlfriend and the boys go and stay there with them every other weekend.

The girlfriend is 20 years older than me (and him!) and she has 4 kids, 2 of which live with her, they are aged 10 and 14.

My boys get on great with her boys.

Problem - Very recently my 6 year old has been coming out with quite a few sexual comments and phrases, for instance he has taken to saying the word "shagger" and once last week said to his brother "shag my a*se" in a 'kiss my a'se' kind of tone...

I asked him where he'd heard these words, first he said "at dads" and then quickly changed his mind to "my friend said it at school".

I let it go.

Tonight he jumped on top of my 8 year old and started bobbing up and down on him, I said "what are you doing??" and he replied "having sex". Remember - he's 6.

I got cross and asked where he'd heard and seen that, again he said "at dads". I asked him if his dad had said it and he said it wasn't him, it was the 10 year old boy. My 8 year old then said he'd done it to him too, said he was having sex and started jumping up and down on him.

What do I do? am I blowing it out of proportion? is this just kids 'experimenting'? due to past experiences as a child I'm extremely sensitive to this kind of thing so maybe I'm over-reacting?

Thing is, this woman strongly dislikes me! she hates me being anywhere near my ex for some mad reason and she has recently started firing the odd "snipe" my way when she see's me, if I mention this she will probably go nuts but I'm not sure I should let it lie...?

Please help...

noddyholder Wed 21-Feb-07 17:20:51

Approach yor ex for a quiet chat without her.Kids do do these things but if you are uncomfortable with it they should do something to stop it

Freckle Wed 21-Feb-07 17:24:54

I think you should raise it with the boys' dad. We have some boys who visit our neighbours (they are the man's children, he is divorced). They had some cousins visiting and the neighbours asked if my 3 boys would like to go for a sleepover. DS2 was brought home a couple of hours later rather distressed. When I asked what had happened, it turned out that the cousin (about 11) and the 2 boys had started making sexual comments and actions - some right in his face.

I immediately called the dad and told him what had happened and demanded that he bring back my other 2 boys. The dad was mortified (it was his nephew who was instigating this) and very apologetic. All boys came and apologised the following day.

My point is, I don't think you can ignore this. It may just be a bit of experimentation on the part of the older boys, but they are older. Your boys are a little too young to be facing this sort of stuff and I think their dad, if he's responsible, will put an end to it.

itsmeNDaveP Wed 21-Feb-07 17:30:06

Bananasmoothie, you do have a very complicated life.

Your boys could have picked it up from her kids.

Have a word with your ex

bananasmoothie Wed 21-Feb-07 17:45:32

itsmeNDaveP - I know, it's everything at once at the moment...a few years ago I had the most boring life ever, I kind of miss it in a way.

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