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Feeling like a failure

(6 Posts)
Tigger13 Thu 05-Jan-17 23:41:40

Hello please don't Judge me. I'm feeling like shit right now. I've recently gone full time I finely balance my job around kids as they dislike breakfast clubs etc. I have 3 dc 13,11 &8. My Dh works full time and we now overlap job roles. I do have high stds and hate falling I see my dh as being disorganised which I struggle wit. Our sex life is ok when it happens but he has shall I say difficulties which he blames on not enough sex. We have rare times together as lives revolve around work and kids sports but we both volunteer for kids stuff. Our youngest was suspected with Sen but nothing proved and educational is doing wel but pushes us daily on everything especially bedtime. This is hugely affecting us and tonight I shouted at him after 2hr of him getting up and I was sitting next to his door. 10.25 pm he finally settled.

I know I'm rambling but tonight I've had enough I feel like I'm doing it all and yes there are other issues which has caused huge resentment in my marriage, husband and I had to apply for jobs or face redundancy he got mine which was higher level leaving me distraught.

But tonight I think I am only studying with him as scared to be Alone and for kids.

Have emailed relate but think long waiting list.

Sorry but everything is on top of me

anxiousnow Fri 06-Jan-17 00:43:03

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot OP. I always think it is hard for the original full time worker to click that now the partner has increased work hours they to need to increase home chores etc. Have you got any family or friends that can babysit so you and your H can have some couple time. A nice meal but time to talk too. To properly explain to him how you feel. You can't still do all the chores but also need some time together as a couple and not just partners getting through the clubs and school runs. Good luck op

jeaux90 Fri 06-Jan-17 07:57:53

OP it sounds like you are trying to take on the world and perhaps you and your DH need to talk about how you can divide up the work better.

I work full time and I just have to accept that things are not as perfect elsewhere after I have got home and spent a little time with my kid (I'm a single parent)

You talked about your high standards, well that is great and I get that but sometimes meeting those along with everything else is too much pressure and you need to work out what is really important. Can you get a cleaner in? Can you get the kids to accept the after school or breakfast club? Or can you get a childminder to do the school run or after school pick ups and do their dinner?

There are lots of ways to re-cut this. Start with a chat with your DH xxx

jeaux90 Fri 06-Jan-17 08:00:44

Forgot to say, if your marriage is really that bad don't be scared of being a single parent, it's really fine. I found it much much better than living with the asshole ex.

Tigger13 Fri 06-Jan-17 10:47:24

Thank you. I want us to try and talk but we are both on call for 2 weeks.

Have asked him to meet me lunchtime.

I have got a cleaner now which should help

I think I am just overwhelmed. My close friends are telling me to stop one of the things I volunteer for, But both need me.

Had chat to kids this morning about kids clubs they are trying one evening a week and hoping I can build on that.

I think I've lost sight of relationship with dh and it's affecting everything

TheNaze73 Fri 06-Jan-17 16:38:36

It sounds like you've totally absorbed yourself in everything, with the exception of your marriage. Is something lacking there, to make you do this?

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